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I agree with the poster who said fix your life and yourself and then... who cares if you like racing or not?
As another who has battled depression for decades, I know that having a reason to live--Purpose--really Is what it is about (well, at least that is how I see it.) When going through bad spells, Nothing seems very good, and sometimes the stuff which use to energize me and almost literally keep me alive stops working ... which is a sign I need to look for a deeper purpose ... or that I need to address those deeper issues which I was able to hold at bay/keep distracted from by other activities (like watching/following racing.)
Take the time to help yourself. Racing will be fine without you ... what is important is that you are okay with or without racing.
Maybe in time you will find racing excites you again, or maybe it will be field hockey, or bird-watching, or ice sculpture, or photography, or surfing ... who cares? Get right with yourself and whatever you do will be right.
come to be perfectly at peace with how it all works.
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