Variations on a Theme: "How many F1 drivers does it take..."

Liz · 20 Dec 2000, 19:24 (Ref:53508)

...to screw in a light bulb."

Ralfie: "I am positive Montoya can't do it."

Bunsen: "I am positive I can do it better than Montoya."

Montoya: "I am just here to drive the car."

Jacques: "I bet Zonta doesn't even know what a light bulb is."

Zonta: "I could do it but Jacques and Pollock hid all the light bulbs and won't tell me where."

Panis: "I already screwed them all in while Jacques was in the loo."

TGF: "I am not paid to screw in light bulbs. Let Rubens do it."

Rubens: "I will be able to screw in light bulbs when Michael retires."

Eddie: "Screw what?"

DC: "I will be able to screw in light bulbs this year for sure."

Mika: "I get to go first!"

Uncle Ron: "We'd have all the light bulbs screwed in by now but Ferrari cheated."

Senna: "Are those French light bulbs? Because I'm not screwing in any French light bulbs."

Prost: [the pilot] "I want the light bulbs Senna has!" [the owner] "I could have all the light bulbs screwed in by now but the French press picks on me and it has upset me."

Team Minardi: "Could somebody lend us a light bulb?"

Ralf's Girl · 20 Dec 2000, 20:50 (Ref:53519)

Valve Bounce · 20 Dec 2000, 22:11 (Ref:53540)

Good one, Liz

JeremySmith · 21 Dec 2000, 04:14 (Ref:53590)

"Nice one Liz"

JeremySmith · 21 Dec 2000, 04:20 (Ref:53591)

"Nice one Liz"

Carla O · 21 Dec 2000, 09:25 (Ref:53604)

thanx liz i'll be in a good mood all day!

Gt_R · 21 Dec 2000, 11:08 (Ref:53621)

i thought Irvine would go....:"SCREW WHO??"

Splatz · 21 Dec 2000, 18:48 (Ref:53677)

Nothing beats a hearty laugh. Thank you.

Ralf's Girl · 21 Dec 2000, 19:06 (Ref:53682)

Quote:

Originally posted by Gt_R
i thought Irvine would go....:"SCREW WHO??"

I thought the exact same thing!

Neil C · 21 Dec 2000, 22:27 (Ref:53729)

How many F1 drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None...it's a hardware problem.

Gt_R · 22 Dec 2000, 02:38 (Ref:53764)

Max Mosley "None, because i represent the circus to screw the light bulb!"

Charlie Whiting "Wait, b4 u screw, let me switch off the main power and check the socket first..."

Bernie "if the sales person dont screw the bulb for us, we'd go to another store who does!"

Pedro Diniz "i do not know how to screw a light bulb, only screwing up races...but if my father pays u a dollar, could i hold the chair while u screw?"

Liz · 22 Dec 2000, 03:13 (Ref:53768)

Mazzacane: "I've got light bulbs - anybody?"

Alesi: "OOO BREAK THAT LIGHT BULB? I WEEL KEEEL HEEEM!"

Max: "The light bulb does not need to be changed! It's fine the way it is!"

Johnny: "Okay, be like that! The American light bulbs are better anyway and they're dying to let me screw them in!"

Jos: "I'll change---ooops. Sorry...."

Alex Wurz: "Why is it so dark in here?"

Carla O · 22 Dec 2000, 17:37 (Ref:53838)

a friend on the turbo-nutter site thought about these as well, i thought i'd share them with you:

Trulli: "For sure, I could screw light bulbs better than anyone else if I had decent light bulbs."

Damon Hill (1999 version): "I'm not screwing the light bulb....oh, I think I will after all......no, I won't......oh yeah, I suppose I will."

Eddie Jordan: "We'll get a model with big tits to screw it in."

Flaaaaaaav: "I screw because I am not a ****er."

Mika Salo: "I will be testing new high quality light bulbs in 2001 instead of screwing in mediocre light bulbs."

Murray: "Fantastic! Eddie Irvine is screwing!"
Martin: "*Sigh* - He's screwing a light bulb!"

**Craig** · 22 Dec 2000, 17:54 (Ref:53840)

How long before Autosport's 'Pitbull' steals this for his/her column too ? Seem to recall the chicken jokes were reproduced there a couple of months ago, though I never really bother reading the column as it's all been lifted from these forums anyway...

sweetbaby · 22 Dec 2000, 19:04 (Ref:53847)

Schumacher(M)..I'll only screw-it if it's red.

Murry.. As i allways say Blub is Bulb spelt backwards.

Ross brawn...I'll trick the bulb into screwing itself.

Ron Dennis... "Have the right bulb, use it the right way,
never compromise.

Johnny Herb.. I don't wanna screw anymore, i can't do
it anyway.

Ralf... My bulb keeps breaking.

Coulthard... "Dear Santa could you please bring me
a race win"... sorry wrong joke.

Irvine.. So many bulbs and so little time.

Hienz-Harald Frentzen... Arn't these bulbs last years

Montoya... With all the hype i hope I can screw,
im sure i think i can.

R · 22 Dec 2000, 21:02 (Ref:53878)

Liz · 22 Dec 2000, 23:11 (Ref:53893)

Pitbull isn't as funny as we are.

Gt_R · 23 Dec 2000, 10:53 (Ref:53929)

(All teams on traction control decision): We must all screw bulbs in the same direction...

Ron: its unfair Ferrari gets the light-saving bulbs when nobody else does.

Montoya: it dunt care if Ralf likes me, i'm just screwing the bulb!

Bernie: Its time UK uses energy-saving light like Malaysia...

Michael Schumacher: I'd keep screwing light bulbs until somebody can screw better than me.

Rubens: i am happy to be screwing lightbulbs here, esp when papa says i screw them better than Irvine...

Mika: yes...erm...its actually...erm...quite
...erm...difficult...screwing in the...light bulb. *pause and laughs to himself*

DC: Next year, i am confident i can screw the light bulb.
DC2: Sure, i have the best light bulbs, but that doesnt mean i must know how to screw the light bulb.

Button: i am surprised i could screw my first bulb faster than Ralf, who screwed many.

Ralf (on Montoya): Lighting candles and screwing bulbs are different, i think it would be difficult for Monty to screw in bulbs fast.

Hmm...looks like there are many many more.....why not we compile all these and make a webpage out of it?

dick · 1 Jan 2001, 22:32 (Ref:55631)

it is f-cking funny

downforce · 2 Jan 2001, 04:57 (Ref:55714)

Lol...nice!!

DC : "it was unfair of Michael to swerve while i screwin the bulb....i mean we've got to look at the rules more closely..."

Minardi fan · 2 Jan 2001, 13:03 (Ref:55774)

Quote:

Originally posted by Carla O
Eddie Jordan: "We'll get a model with big tits to screw it in."

Team Minardi: "We'd love to screw in a light bulb - if we had anyone to do it."

TGF: "It took 21 years to screw it all the way in."

James Allen: "It will all come down to how the drivers and teams decide to screw their bulbs in today."

Louise Goodman: "So... Johnny, what happened?"
Johnny: "Well, I was screwing really hard, and it just broke!"

Wurz: "This testing deal means I can come back and screw better than ever."

Zonta: "Jacques... you screwed me, now screw this!"

Craig Pollock: "Jacques and I... we screw this together."

Ralf's Girl · 2 Jan 2001, 19:48 (Ref:55826)

Quote:

Originally posted by Minardi fan
TGF: "It took 21 years to screw it all the way in."

Quote:

Originally posted by Liz
Pitbull isn't as funny as we are.

Very true.

sweetbaby · 3 Jan 2001, 05:36 (Ref:55922)

Is Minardi screwing theirs in or out

no one can really tell at the moment

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