A review

[Vicki]

Could anyone give me advice on the review below? Here is the review...



The Mini- The Classic and The Modern.

Young and old alike will probably know about the original Mini and its character. Launched in 1959 by Sir Alec Issigonis and tweaked in 1961 by John Cooper to create the Cooper and Cooper S models, the basic shape of the Mini has remained pretty much the same throughout its life. After going out of production for a time, the Mini is now being produced at a BMW factory in Oxford. Although the basic shape has remained the same for the new model, safety and comfort have been drastically enhanced. There will be a choice of 14 exterior paint colours, either with a black or white roof and exterior mirrors. You can stick with 15 inch alloy wheels, or optional 16 or 17 inch variants will be available. Another option is a panoramic sunroof and there are also many chrome trims available. On the inside, you can relax in either leather or leatherette seats, with height adjustment on the steering column and driver’s seat. A CD sound system will be standard, with a Harman Kardon speaker system on the options list. There is a choice of manual or automatic transmission and safety is not compromised. There are a range of airbags, including front, side and head protection airbags for the front passengers, head protection being unheard of in a car this size. To further safety, ABS comes as standard, with optional traction control and xenon headlights also available. Prices start at £10,400 and end at £14,600 for the Cooper S. If that isn’t enough power for you, then many companies will tune your Mini, but if you still want your BMW warranty, you should choose the Works tuned version. This car is also very practical, with split folding rear seats increasing the luggage space considerably. With insurance groups starting at 5 and ending at 15, this little car won’t cost too much to insure. And with mpg figures ranging from 33.6 to 43.5, it won’t need filling up every day either. Although some people may prefer the original Mini, you have to give the designers credit for keeping lots of the character and charm of the original.

Any constructive comments welcome.

[Logrence]

I assume you've written it - what you need to know when writing it is who and where you're writing for...

Tell me that and I'll give you your constructive comments

[Vicki]

I wrote it mainly for anyone that wanted anything to do with it, so if you know of a site that would give me some press let me know!

[Truckosaurus]

I'm sure our friends at BMW would prefer it if you called their vehicle a MINI not a Mini. This would overcome the awkward sentence where you say:

After going out of production for a time, the Mini is now being produced at a BMW factory in Oxford

Which implies that it is the same vehicle being built.

Being an admirer of the late John Cooper, I'd have liked to see his company getting the credit for being responsible for the 'Works' tuning.

The only other issue I have is the bit about the standard CD player which isn't true, being a Beemer you don't even get a radio as standard.

Perhaps you could also mention the 'on the road' prices once some options have been chosen eg. Chilli Pack (aircon, radio), leather, nice paint. This is what put me off from buying a Cooper 'S', once you'd ticked a few options the price was £18k. That, and it wasn't so quick as I'd hoped.

Otherwise not a bad little review of the specs given that there are no driving impressions.

Were you limited to the number of words?

[Vicki]

no word limit, obviously some dodgy internet info! Does anyone have any addresses for people that might be interested in it?

[Tim Falce]

Why title it "The Mini- The Classic and The Modern" when you only have 4 lines of classic and all the rest modern?
Just my opinion, the modern bit wouldn't interest me because the only thing that is Mini is the name, everything else is Beemer.

[Vicki]

Not entirely sure why I put that title, it sounded good when I wrote it!

[Truckosaurus]

Originally posted by falcemob
the modern bit wouldn't interest me because the only thing that is Mini is the name, everything else is Beemer.

Do we have a smilie?

As a classic/proper Mini owner, I've got nothing against the new/BMW MINI. It was designed by British engineers and is built in a British factory by British workers. (We'll overlook the Brazilian engine). The Mini we all know and love would have died anyway past the year 2000 as it didn't meet any of the safety regs, so the MINI wasn't responsible for its death either.

IMHO the MINI has a lot of the character of the Mini with its decent handling and underpowered engine.

The only part of the MINI (from the driving seat) which is blatently BMW is the organ throttle pedal.

[John Turner]

Well said, Guy

[Kicking-back]

It all sounds a bit PR/Press release rather than an actual review with some opinion.

[Logrence]

Nothing wrong at all with what you've written, but anyone can find specs on the net - what you want to do with a review is cloak up your opinion in it - that's why people read the review, they want to know what you think. The good journalism is making it look unbiased. Be a bit more emotive, chuck adjectives at it.

What most people do is get a bit of a theme or a story running into it - just something to kick off the review to stop it becoming turgid...

I've had a go at writing my own beginning based on what I know and what you've written, just to show you what I mean...

Young and old alike will probably know about the original Mini and its character. Launched in 1959 by Sir Alec Issigonis and tweaked in 1961 by John Cooper to create the Cooper and Cooper S models, the basic shape of the Mini has remained pretty much the same throughout its life. After going out of production for a time, the Mini is now being produced at a BMW factory in Oxford.

"That Issigonis fellow was onto something when he launched his new car in 1959. Probably sick at being nagged by the missus (most likely too embarassed at having to tell people he'd penned the Morris Minor), he set out to create something small, yet fun to drive. Something parkable, yet able to hold a shopping bag or two.

What he created was bigger than Jesus.

The Mini was perhaps the car of the 20th century - an icon of the 60s, a marvel of British engineering prowess and the standard which all small cars have subsequently failed to reach. Everyone knows what a Mini looks like. An entire industry of Mini modification was kicked off in 1961 by the inimitable John Cooper - the best car got even better.

BMW must be crazy then, you think, to have launched their own version of the Mini. More to the point, what are the Krauts doing to an English legend? A catering-sized can of worms indeed. But how on earth could they sit by while Volkswagen are getting minted off that thing that looks like the Beetle that ate all the pies?"

[Logrence]

Whoops...

[garcon]

Don't sit on the fence Loggy!

[Logrence]

Would I?

[Vicki]

Thank you everyone who contributed, you are helping me become a better writer. Family are great for advice but their opinons may be altered so as not to hurt your feelings, and it is always nice to hear the opinions of others. I think we have come to the end of this thread, so if one of the mods would kindly close it for me it would be most appreciated.

[Logrence]

Originally posted by FerrariFanatic
Family are great for advice but their opinons may be altered so as not to hurt your feelings

Can I have your family? Mine are the complete opposite!

Hence why I don't tell them anything.