Iain's (Delta Racing Car) Builder's Tea Break 2015

[delta]

Feel fine thanks but have now have a black eye.

[Tim Falce]

Originally Posted by delta

I've just had biggest shunt of the year . Pitch black , pot hole , high side , bang!!! and now my head aches and mrs delta saying I got to wear a crash hat . She just might be right . Funny how couple of pints of doom bar seems to help .

You should wear a crash hat, take if from one who has learnt the painful way you need to take care of your head, even a slight bump can have major effects. My bump which was considered a minor head injury (pretty major to me) has had fairly serious consequences for me in that it's done damage to my eyes and I'm lucky not to have partially lost the sight in one eye although I am still having some problems now.
One of my neighbours bang her head on a kitchen cupboard door and as a result she's got a detached retina and has also had her driving licence revoked until they can mend it.
So take care and always wear a crash hat while cycling as it could be a car that hits you next time, I've taken to always wearing a bump cap while at work now.

[Alan Raine]

Originally Posted by grantp

Likely very true. Probably need the period stuff if you can find any .....


A few years back the Saab was in for service at the dealer's and I decided to get them to change the front brake pads.

The technician attempted to undo the locking wheel nut on one of the fronts and discovered it was a rather tight fit. They were the last outfit to do anything with the wheel so their problem right? (Though they would have no way of being sure about that of course.)

He trashed the "key" for the nut so they tried their "master" key ... and promptly trashed that as well. Cue call to me (on my annual shopping skills refresher course for what I thought would be 2 or 3 hours while they did the service) to ask if would be OK drill the nut off, complete with potential for collateral damage to the wheel and the need to replace the locking nuts (or, as they said, fit a new set of nuts - non locking type implied but not inferred by me at that point.)

They then trashed several drill bits and a drill over a period of about 2 hours removing the nut. Some damage to the wheel as well from the chuck.

I cost me, iirc, about £70 for a new set of locking nuts.

The joys of alloy wheels and mixed metal contact surfaces.

My Laguna 2 arrived without the socket for the locking wheel bolts. Cold chisel and a bigger hammer got all four off in under an hour...mind you, there was a lot of swearing and a bruised hand afterwards!!

[delta]

Yes mike and watching the tv this morning apparantly some mums and dads were goingvto the local church to get some extra points . They got the vicar on and he was having none of it . Made me chuckle . All taken on board Tim . Even mr bell in going to start wearing one . I'm now getting lots of simphany from the hot girlies behind the bar as now have a good old black eye . 😍

[terence]

So next ploy would be to get a walking stick?

[gary396]

Just got back home from a trip up into the Yorkshire Dales where I had hoped to watch the HERO Le Jog cars passing through on their way further north. Due to the flooding I didn't manage to get there but I managed to capture this 'inaction' shot of a Corsa and its marooned AA Recovery vehicle - oops. I suspect neither driver is too happy at the moment.

[delta]

Gazza what about pushing the "B" into a puddle ,then doing the same thing with AA.

[gary396]

I might just push it into a big puddle and leave it there! The recovery man who originally got me home (from Croft ironically) said the pump would just be a ten minute job. 😀

[Tim Falce]

Gary, will the engine run enough to get it hot? You could try getting the engine hottish and then see if the bolt will loosen, just make sure there's water in it first.

[Mike Harte]

As it's fast approaching that time of year, I thought it might be a good time to post this:

TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Anonymous

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 14, 1986

My Darling,

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a "Partridge in a pear tree." What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised. You're an angel.
With all my love and devotion,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 15, 1986

Darling,

Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine "Two turtle doves." I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are adorable and I love you for them.
All my love,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 16, 1986

Dear Fred,

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one? Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity as "Three French hens." They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

Love,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 17, 1986

Dear Fred,

Today the postman delivered "Four calling birds." Now really, they are beautiful but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.

Affectionately,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 18, 1986

Dearest Fred,

What a surprise! The postman just delivered the "Five golden rings"; one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 19, 1986

Dear Fred,

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning as I walked out onto the front porch and there were "Six geese a laying" on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again - huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbours are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. I love your thoughtfulness, but - Please Stop!

Cordially,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 20, 1986

Fred,

What's with you and those f***ing birds??? Today I received "Seven swans a swimming." What kind of a goddamn joke is this? These birds s*** all over the house and they never stop with that awful goddamn racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. Stop your laughing damn you! It's not funny. Just knock it off with those f***ing birds, OK?????

Sincerely,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 21, 1986

OK Buster,

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with "Eight maids a milking??" It's not enough with all those birds and the 8 maids milking, but they had to bring their goddamn cows! There is s*** all over the lawn and I can't even move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass!!

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 22, 1986

Hey S***head,

What are you??? Some kind of sadist??? Now I've got "Nine pipers playing" and Christ do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they've arrived this morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over the screeching f***ing birds. What the hell am I going to do?? The neighbours have already started a petition to have me evicted.

You'll get yours, *******,

Agnes
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 23, 1986

You Rotten P****,

Who in hell needs "Ten ladies dancing??" I can't imagine why I call these sluts "ladies." They've been balling the pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and all the goddamn racket around here has given them diarrhoea. My living room is a river of s***! The Commissioner of Buildings. has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building should not be condemned!

I'm sicking the police on you, *******!

One who means it!!!
___________

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 24, 1986

Listen F***head,

What's with the "Eleven lords a leaping" on those maids and ladies??? Some of these poor broads will never walk again. The pipers ravaged the maids, gang-banged the ladies, and now are committing sodomy on the cows. All 23 birds are dead. They were trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious *******!

I hate your guts, dumbs***,

Agnes
___________

Law Offices
Badger, Bender & Cahole
303 Knave Street
Chicago, IL
December 26, 1986

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift "Twelve fiddlers fiddling" which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. As you no doubt have guessed, the destruction of her property was total. You are advised that all future correspondence with our client should be cleared through this office. I feel compelled to warn you that if you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanatorium, the attendants of that institution have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Season's Greetings,

J. Frank Cahole Attorney

[Neil Duke]

With reference to the bolt,you could try heating the head,let it cool,heat the head,etc repeating several times,this will heat the surrounding area,then quickly quench the bolt,whack with hammer,& make final attempt to undo.This always used to work on Beetle exhaust studs.

[delta]

Just seen on face book that our Max has been recognised with an award for all his work this year with the Karting . Well done chap . BBC Sports Personality next year .😄

[Tel 911S]

Been a bit quiet on here lately , so I thought I would wish everybody a Happy Christmas .
And a note that , due to an unfortunate accident , the Christmas season might be a bit later this year .

[Mike Bell]

That's clever, think remember it from few years ago, but good to see it again!

Changing subject, just channel surfing on TV while snacking and caught bit of the kids film 'Lemony Snicket's A series of unfortunate events'. No idea what country it is set in, thought US, but Timothy Spall's character drives a Tatra. Can't remember seeing one in a movie before!

[Brian A]

I know the guys up in Cumbria have been really suffering with the weather, but down here in the balmy south east, I've just been cutting the grass as its been growing so strongly in the mild weather. Ridiculous for the middle of December.

As a reflection of the festive period, I was kept company by a very cheerful little Robin, but I am sure that he was singing - "is it spring already?" - it certainly feels that way.

I am sure we'll be made to suffer in due course.......

[midgetman]

My grass is above my ankles but it's too wet to cut every time I get chance to do it.

There are daffodils out in Yeovil.

[bauble]

Originally Posted by midgetman

There are daffodils out in Yeovil.

Is this a Cole Porter classic, as sung by Nat King Cole?

[bauble]

[QUOTE=midgetman;3597494]My grass is above my ankles.[/QUOTE]


Just how tall are your ankles Max?

[delta]

Yes I must get mrs Delta out there mowing the lawn . Just woke up from my Sunday afternoon nap . 😄

[Mike Bell]

There was a bit on Look East last week about how far ahead nature is this winter / spring.... Reckoned over a month forward, Daffs being a prime example.

Not having any grass nowadays, all I know is that the relatively warm weather keeps my heating costs down! And I can still put up with wear shorts on a daily basis....

[midgetman]

You may be able to put up with you wearing shorts but what about the rest of us???

[Mike Bell]

Originally Posted by midgetman

You may be able to put up with you wearing shorts but what about the rest of us???

Oy! I'm thinking of getting a job as a Postie, then will blend in.....

[Colin McKay]

Talking to a neighbour today at a Xmas drinks do, he tells me he has 2 cherry trees. The winter flowering one is still dormant, the spring one started to bloom this week. Bonkers.

[Alan Morgan]

On a totally different subject. I've recently come across this on YouTube. It's a video made by the chief instructor of the Institute of Advanced Motorists about how to have an incident-free drive from London to Bath in 1963. About 50s in to the film there's some useful advice on how to deal with slower cars on the motorway...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE82FZpq0qM

[MGDavid]

Originally Posted by Alan Morgan

On a totally different subject. I've recently come across this on YouTube. It's a video made by the chief instructor of the Institute of Advanced Motorists about how to have an incident-free drive from London to Bath in 1963. About 50s in to the film there's some useful advice on how to deal with slower cars on the motorway...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE82FZpq0qM

super! - that's the road between me and Midgetman, fascinating to spot the bits that haven't changed (not many), still see that Herald driver occasionally...