I'm going CRAZY !!!

[Wrex]

All this waiting is making me nuts. I know we are getting close to Melbourne now, but I cant wait any longer.

Lets pretend the race has just finished and complete the sentence below;

Wow ! What a race. That was one of the best races for many seasons because................

[Valve Bounce]

.....Ralf qualified on pole and led the race from start to finish.

[DNQ]

Wow ! What a race. That was one of the best races for many seasons because................ the Minardi team have just taken their maiden victory, with Alsonso leading home team-mate Morbedelli in a 1-2. Team owner Paul Stoddart, has said that he was not suprised by the excellent results, and hopes to mount a championship title challenge.

The race start was hampered by a shocking accident, in which both Eddie Irvine and Michael Schumacher were rolled into the the gravel traps, the latter suffering minor chest bruising. Schumacher will be out for one race, and will be replaced in Malaysia by 1994 Simtek driver, Australia David Brabham.

Second place was Olivier Panis, ahead of Villeneuve, Alesi and Hakkinen!

[RussianFriend]

Wow ! What a race. That was one of the best races for many seasons because....
Alesi qualified on pole, second was TGF, third was Ralf. TGF had overtaken Alesi on the sixth lap.

JV qualified tenth had made the great break through to the fifth and was trying to overtake Mika Hakkinnen then both of them came into collision. TGF's engine became dead after his first pit-stop.
After pit-stops Ralf became first and won the race
Second is Alesi. And third is...Fernando Alonso of Minardi.

[Gt_R]

because it is the first 1-2 victory for the European Minard F1 team. The win is more impressive as all critics doubt they could even qualify for the race.

However, the victory is made possible after Jacques Villeneuve made another lousy overtaking not dissimilar to that of USA and canada 2000 on Oliver Panis, only to fail and take out all the cars except those of the top four and the 2 Minardi. Meanwhile, more actions were at the head of the field when pole sitter DC tried to prove he got what he takes to be a world champion by...erm...stompping on the brakes at the middle of 2nd short straight (between turn 2 and 3) when he sees Hakkinen and the 2 Ferraris close behind him. All crashed into his rear and retired.

The Minardis were not involved in the 2 crashes thankfully due to the underpowered engines...they had so little power for acceleration that by the time they pass the starting line, all the collisions had taken place already.

The race stopped after 2hrs, instead of the full race distance as the minardis only managed to complete halve the race laps when Alan Jones said he wants to go home, and insisted to wave the flag immediately.

After the race, in a post race interview.
an angry Jarno Trulli later termed JV "more than an Idiot (more than Button)!"
an angry JP Montoya stuck his middle finger into JV's nose.
a Honda spokeman said "We had the power in the engines, but BAR obviously do not have the power in the brakes"

Michael Schumacher said "He(DC) tried to kill me, but he dint noe that it was Rubens who is in third (at time of crash)"
DC blamed his team for switching the two brake and accelerate pedals without imforming him.
Bernie said it doesnt matter as "i still get the money from the race coverage"
Max was a happy man, claiming that "my efforts to enforce safety was rewarded today, with 20 cars crashing, no one died!"

However, concern was raised as Eddie drove without his safety belt on. He flew out of his car into the sea of spectators during the collision. While no press release was provided to his condition, doctors said he was lucky to survive and not suffocate after having his head stuck between a big Aussie woman's t*ts for 2 hours...



I always wanted to do a race report~ Hopefully, F1 Racing decides to hire me after seeing this!

[EERO]

Very good, GT_R!!!

[Ralf's Girl]

Wow ! What a race. That was one of the best races for many seasons because................someone OVERTOOK!!!

To give you the details...

Juan Pablo Montoya qualified a disappointing last behind both of Tom Walkinshaw's Arrows cars (which have such unreliable engines that they have been nicknamed 'The Smoking Oranges'), and failed to make an impact at the beginning of the race, where he attempted to overtake a Minardi but missed his braking point, ending up in the gravel trap.

Due to some incredible overtaking, the two Minardis made it up to second and third, behind Ralf Schumacher's Williams (who had fought his way up from 10th on the grid, after problems in qualifying, to the lead). TGF qualified on pole, with Hakkinen, Coulthard and Barrichello predictably behind, but Coulthard was forced to withdraw from the race when his inexplicably expanded jawline was unable to fit into his helmet. Barrichello, meanwhile, is thought to be in trouble with Ferrari after he overtook TGF at the first corner and refused to move over for him. Ferrari called him mysteriously into the pits several laps later and refused to explain the reason for his retirement...

Tom Walkinshaw was looking very pleased with himself when his Smoking Oranges got up to fourth and fifth, but at the last corner their engines simultaneously exploded, handing the positions to Frentzen and Trulli, with Button in sixth. Pedro de la Rosa, who watched the race from the Prost garage, broke into gleeful laughter at this blow for the Arrows team.

And how did the much-hyped Montoya fare in this highly dramatic race? Well, he suffered from the problem of barely fitting into his car at the start of the race, before spinning off only a few laps in...

The Arrows 'post-mortem' on the engines showed no obvious sign of failure. An anonymous source suggested a hex on the team by an unknown person who answers to the name of Valve Bounce...

[Quino]

Wow ! What a race. That was one of the best races for many seasons because................oh the hell with it. This was just a lousy race just like many others. Im working for a commercial network so I'm paid to make this **** far more interesting then it really is.

The red number 1 won after a start to finish-lead, so just another day at the office for the bookies. Hakkinen never lost sight of him but was never in the position to overtake.

The only nerve-raising incident was when it looked for a moment that Ross Brawn couldn't get his headset to work. Now that could have change the outcome of things completely. No such luck though....

Back to the studio (and for me to the unemployementlines)

[Mania]

Unbelievable Race!


Michael Schumacher leads from pole, followed by Mika Hakkinen, Rubens Barrichelo, Jean Alesi in the Prost and Coulthard in the Mclaren. Villunerve in 6th place tries a move on Coulthard taking them both out. Coulthard bawls his way back to the pits whining about how Michael Schumacher`s good start caused Coulthard to fall into the clutches of Villunerve. Ron Dennis nods his head and makes a note "Whiner-Supreme Coulthard -NOT to be re-signed". Villunerve stalks back to the pits fuming over the sight of a laughing Ricardo Zonta sitting happily on the Jordan Pit wall. Villunerve heads for the showers with a new bottle of hair dye that the team kept ready after seeing him spin out. Thats color number 20 for Villunerve. Still no wins since 97. Back to the race, Alesi passes Barrichelo and takes 3rd position closing up on Hakkinen. Ralf Schumacher is now clipping away on Barrichelo, taking the position into the first corner. Barrichelo down to fifth. Followed by Trulli, Frentzen, Vestappen, Burti, Bernoldi, Heidfeld, Fisicella, Button, and Montoya. Montoya tries a move on Button, Button closes the door. Montoya spins into the kitty litter. Frank Williams grimaces in the pit lane. Montoya pulls himself out of the cockpit and heads to Burger King. Up at the front, Hakkinen develops a brake problem and heads into the pits. Alesi takes second, Ralf third.
Alesi closes up on Michael but the Ferrari still has the pace. Hakkinen rejoins in sixth place pulling of an incredible move to take fifth place from Frenzen.
Alesi peals of into the pits, the Prost team are waiting, Alain bites his fingers but everything goes smoothly and Alesi comes back out in fourth place, just ahead of Hakkinen. Ralf is second and closing fast. BMW Williams call their number one driver into the pits, Michael continues to lead, but Ralf is back out ahead of Alesi.
Ralf is flying after the pit stop but Schumy is still in control. Alesi is closing fast on the two of them as Ferrari call Michael in for his first and only stop. Ralf takes the lead just barely as Michael comes out right behind him. Michael ducks and dives but the Williams stays ahead, Alesi comes home in a solid third. Ralf wins his first race for BMW Williams, Michael comes home in second followed by Jean Alesi in the Prost, Mika Hakkinen, Janno Trulli and Heinz H Frentzen.

[Valve Bounce]

Great thread!! I'm going to check this thread after the race to see how many of these predictions come true. And I was right - this is the official Minardi lover's forum.