F1 Joke!!!

[neutral]

Ron Dennis have been very worried about weak performance of team McLaren. He can't understand it because McLaren is biggest team in europe, they have Adrian Newey and best parts they can get, but still they can't beat Ferrari.
So Ron calls Ross Brawn and tells him about his problem. Ross is very judicious and invites Ron to watch Ferrari's tests.

Ron travels to Mugello and after watching days testings he speaks to Ross: "I still can't understand it, we do all the same things and still you beat us"

"Uhm" says Ross, "I think it has nothing to do with testing. I think that our drivers are smarter than yours."

Ron looks bit angry and asks Ross:

"What a hell you mean by that?"

"Well" says Ross, "We practise our drivers way of thinking too"

To show his point he asks Michael Schumacher a question: "Michael here is a problem for you. He is son of your father but he is not your brother, who is he?"

"That's an easy one" says Michael "It's me!"

"Thats right!" says Ross

Ron is very impressed. He travels back to McLaren's factory and asks David Couldhard to pay a visit. "Davis, i talked to Ross Brawn and he thinks that their drivers are smarter than you and Mika are"

"Thats b u l l s h i t!" shouts David

"Allright" says Ron. "I have a question for you: He is son of your father but he is not your brother, who is he?"

David looks stupid and says: "I need time to sort this out, can i give my answer tomorrow?"

Ron consents and David returns home to think about the question. He asks his fiancé
but she had no clue what Davis's talking.

Finally he decides to call Mika if he would understand the question.

"Hi, it's David here i have a problem: He is son of your father but he is not your brother, who is he?"

"Thats an easy one" says Mika "It's me!"

Next day David meets Ron and says to him: "Good morning boss, i have the answer to your question"

"Ok, tell me" says Ron

"It's Mika Häkkinen" says David with full of self-selfconvidence.

"No, you stupid flatfaced cubehead idiot" roars Ron "It's not Mika it's Michael Schumacher!"

---

Don't get angry please

[Carla O]

Even though i am a DC AND Macs fan, I loved this one!!!

[Gt_R]

whahaa...i love this, really gave me a good laff, esp the reply ron gives...but HEY, isnt that the truth, MS n Mika are far smarter than those that "cubehead idiot"

[EERO]

Oh the truth of a good joke!

[White Van Man]

F1 is a Joke!

[Carla O]

hope this works... here is a good example of his cubeheadedness!

[LYM]

Hear it used on some political heavyweights before.
Good jokes are applicable to anyone.

[R]

Yes, I also heard this joke involving Bill Clinton, Madeleine Albright and some Norwegian politicians, so it's flying around in a lot of different varieties.

[Dani]

I love that Joke!! I have it saved on my e mail from ages ago!!
I heard this joke today
What is the difference Between DC and Mazzacane?
Mazzacane can stay in front of Mika!!

[Dhru]

Thieves!!!!!! You're all stealing my jokes from the Ralf Schumacher Forum! Here's another:
Why did the chicken cross the road? We asked this
traditional question to a whole load of Formula 1
personalities. As you'd expect from grand prix drivers
and team managers, the answers were quite varied...

Mika Hakkinen: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
(pause) "that's tough question" (pause) "maybe"
(pause) "er" (pause) "maybe it's a question you have
to ask the chicken."

David Coulthard: "I was really surprised when the
chicken swerved right in front of me and crossed the
road. I was expecting it to walk straight along the
pavement, but it just cut right across in front of me.
I think we'll need a ruling from the FIA if chickens
are allowed to do this."

Michael Schumacher: "The chicken is allowed to move
over, that is clearly within the rules. The chicken
can make one move to defend his line. But it can't
zig-zag backwards and forwards across the road. What
it did was quite fair and within the rules."

Ron Dennis: "The objective of the poultry individual
in this situation is to work towards the goal of a
road crossing. We're comfortable that that can be
achieved using only bi-ped motional forces. We would
refuse to compromise until a safe chicken arrival
scenario had been achieved."

Alain Prost: "For sure the chicken crossed the road.
But for me it was not as interesting as chickens
crossing the road ten years ago."

Rubens Barrichello: " I'd like to dedicate the chicken
crossing the road to my great friend Ayrton Senna"

Max Mosley: " We have to find ways of slowing that
chicken down and making them safer. For that reason
the FIA are changing the rules so that chickens
crossing roads will be equipped with special chicken
bodywork and neck supports."

Jacques Villeneuve: " So what if the f****** chicken
gets run over. The chicken wanted to cross the road
didn't it?"

James Allen (ITV pitlane reporter): "Hey guys, you're
not going to believe this, but the chicken's on a
different strategy to the bantams."

Murray Walker and Martin Brundle:
Murray: And as the lights go out, it's GO GO GO for
the duck as it dives towards...
Martin: It's a chicken Murray.
Murray: Yes, yes, it's a chicken, charging into the
lead. I think it's got this race sewn up.
Martin: The chicken's stopped, Murray
Murray: DISASTER for the chicken! This will throw the
whole badger crossing championship wide open!

Ok, it may be long but it's soo true!
Dhru.

[Carla O]

You forgot one i got by email, or it was on Autosport, don't remember:

Louise Goodman: So chicken, stopped on the side of the road again...

[Tris]

Ok this is my pathetic attempt at humour!

Gregorio was the ultimate F1 fan. He had all the video and went to all the races. Unfortunately he passed away and went up to heaven. When he arrived at the gates of heaven he came across St Peter.

“Greeting’s Gregorio, we have been expecting you.” St Peter said.
Gregorio asked St Peter.. “What is heaven like then?”
St Peter replied “All the greats are here, Fangio, Gilles Villeneuve, Jimmy Clark, Ayrton Senna and they all race here on the replicas of the great tracks.”
“Senna racing with Villeneuve and Clark this is my idea of heaven!” Gregorio exclaimed.
“Exactly!” St Peter replied.

Greg settled into heaven very quickly. he loved watching the racing the cars had turbos, wide tire and the racing was all he might of hoped until he found something that disturbed him. One day he came upon a track with a lone red Ferrari pounding round lap after lap with blinding speed. He could not believe what he saw! It looked as if the driver was wearing a helmet just like Michael Schumacher's. And the driving style was exactly the same as his German hero's. Gregorio was confused.

After some nights of troubled sleep we went to see St Peter about what he had seen that day. He described the scene he had seen and protested..
“But Michael Schumacher is not dead! How can he be here?”

St Peter looked around to make sure nobody was listening and whispered to Gregorio.
“Keep this quiet as i could get in to trouble with the Big man for telling you this..”
Peter glanced around some more..
“You see that car.. that was God... he thinks he is Michael Schumacher!”



Well I think it’s funny!

Tris

[neutral]

Loved it Tris.

[RussianFriend]

OK! This is my joke (hope I'll managed to translate it funny):

Ralph and Michael was flying on holyday, when their own plane crashed in a desert. They managed to escape and camed near the palm-tree. At down they was waked up by lion's roaring. The lion rashed after Michael and they started to run around the palm.

Ralph cryed: "Brother! Be carefull! He's overtaking you!"

But Michael answered: No, he doesn't. I overlaped him three times!"

[Dhru]

Great jokes Tris and Russian Friend.
Dhru.

[downforce]

FUN
More threads like this one please!!!!

[RussianFriend]

Jne more joke

(read with special finnish pronunciation)

Question

- Why does Mika drive so fast?

Answer

- It's because he's taking his foot off the accelerator too slowly.

[R]

Loved your jokes, Tris and RussianFriend!

[Dhru]

Agree with downforce. Thanx for the insight RussianFriend, I always wondered about Mika!
Dhru.

[LYM]

A TGF fan, a Coulthard a Hakkinen fan,lost in the heart of jungle, must swim across a river infested with crocodiles. The MS fan plunges in the water first but, when he's at the middle of the river, he's eaten by the biggest crocodile (the WDC have a right to the biggest as usual...). Then the DC fan throws himself in the river but the poor is immediately caught in less than 5 seconds. The Hakkinen fan,traumatized, kneels down and prays God. Prudent, he gets up, takes a black marker from his bag and, with an heavy heart and watering eyes, hesitates but finally ends up by writing on his red shirt"David Coulthard
Formula One WDC for 2001". He crosses himself the last time and plop ! he throws himself and the crocodiles let him cross the river without moving.

MORALITY :
DAVID COULTHARD THE 2001 WORLD DRIVERS CHAMPION, EVEN A CROCODILE CAN'T SWALLOW AND DIGEST THAT !!!!

[downforce]

Lol!!!!

[Valve Bounce]

These are all great. More Please!!

[RussianFriend]

David Coulhard talks to his girl-friend:

- David, when will we get married? Michael and Korrina, Mika and Erja...
- Wait a little, darling. When I'll became WDC...
- David, do you really believe we're going to live forever?