Commentator Gems

[b1ackcr0w]

Murryisms aside, what's the best comment you've ever heard a commentator (at the circuit or on TV) say?

My favorite was from an Aussie TV commentator on the Bathurst 24 this year.

"That's the thing about those concrete blocks, they do a really good job of curing understeer!"

[Gizmo]

It was on a vintage m/c rally in portishead. the commentator was describing the different bikes as they left for the afternoon run. Amongst them a ford sierra pushed out. The comment was "a classic example of a well restored 1956 Ariel VH500 closely followed by the worst example of a Ford dagenham dustbin!"

[Cynic]

During a Ginetta race at Thruxton a couple of years ago, the commentator described Shayne Lynch as having "repeatedly rammed Vicki Butler-Henderson from behind". It caused much hilarity on the bank.....

[Woolley]

Nearly as good as David Addison on Clios: "David Shaw has just slipped up inside Paula Sears"

[N M Ramsden]

Not sure where it occurred or who's quote it was but apparantely once upon a time the Clio's were referred to as Renault CL tens !!!!

[Chris Gray]

Something that made me laugh last year at Cadwell was when one commentator went to hand over to the over expecting him to be at Mansfield Corner. After a short silence he said something along the lines of: "Oh, he's not here today, I've just been told. He's wife's had a baby."

[AndyF]

Originally posted by Cynic
During a Ginetta race at Thruxton a couple of years ago, the commentator described Shayne Lynch as having "repeatedly rammed Vicki Butler-Henderson from behind". It caused much hilarity on the bank.....

Likewise at Thruxton last year, the commentator couldn't see which driver had his hand in the air signalling a problem, and the commentator, and asked 'Whose got their hand up, Sharon'! Again much hilarity!!

[Ian Sowman]

Around 1990 the BARC used a commentator who went by the name of N. Warint a couple of times at Mallory. In that time, he managed to display a complete lack of understanding of the sport ("What does the green flag mean?"), failed to turn his mike off once so we heard every word he said, appealed for a crowd member to help him out in the commentary box, and just generally be quite a poor commentator ("And it's number 37 from 23, 45, 11, 61, 98...").

Who he was, how he got the job, and where he is now will remain a mystery to me forever.

[Snapper Baz]

It's not the current Mallory commentator who starts every race by saying..."The lights are red...the lights are green...yes, they're away in a cresendo of sound and colour!" is it ???

[Ian Sowman]

Get it right Baz, it's a 'blare' of sound and colour. Anyway, I'd give AW credit for at least being enthusiastic and having *some* idea what is going on.

[stevebrown]

I remember marshalling at the Esses duing the first BTCC night race at Snet when during the Fiesta race someone thought a good idea to shine a laser pen at the drivers. The race got stopped and Alan Hyde who was at the Esses said, Well done to the idiot who got the race red flagged. You're the biggest c here tonight! that got a huge cheer from the crowd.
(I've tried to be discrete and apologies if I have offended anyone but to hear a commentater swear like that was priceless).

Steve B

[Snapper Baz]

Ian, I'll keep my ears open this sunday and hear what he says!

[b1ackcr0w]

Originally posted by stevebrown
I remember marshalling at the Esses duing the first BTCC night race at Snet when during the Fiesta race someone thought a good idea to shine a laser pen at the drivers. The race got stopped and Alan Hyde who was at the Esses said, Well done to the idiot who got the race red flagged. You're the biggest c here tonight! that got a huge cheer from the crowd.
(I've tried to be discrete and apologies if I have offended anyone but to hear a commentater swear like that was priceless).

Steve B

Frankly, Given the circumstances, he was quite justified as well!

[Ian Sowman]

He likes a change from time to time, Baz. I'm sure he doesn't say 'pencil-slim cockpit' nearly as much as he used to...

[wickedwitch]

One that we got a laugh out of was from a commentator who's a big fan of saloons but on this occasion was commentating on a single seaters race (Formula Vee I think) when he said "and they're doorhandle to doorhandle now as they come into the esses". Can't really name him but you know who you are Matt.

[Junior Senior]

Superbike commentator Fred Clarke was explaining how Chris Walker had probably "gone too soon" in a race at Cadwell. He described it as "Has Walker shot his load?"
Fred could never get his bolts and loads sorted out..........

[Crash Test]

Myself and a few other guys do the bulk of commentary in the local area, and man, over the years there have been some shockers!

The winner of the "Best Call Award" last year was with respect to a bloke called Wayne Wakefield, who was parked in the pit lane at the time...
"And the Wayne car is in the pits at the moment..."

A couple more- with reference to Trevor Bassett’s Ferrari Daytona- “…and the leader of the race is Fred Bassett in the Ferrari..” Errrr, woof woof, I was doing that race on my own, and there was a touch of dead air for a couple seconds...

And one (unidentified) commentator at the first meeting this year with reference to Harvey and Cameron Black- "And back in the pack the Black guys are running around together..." errmm, I don't think you can say that!

[Beardy359]

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."


MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."


JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."


WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."


ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."


CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."


JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"


STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."


THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."


WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."


US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"


Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."


Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."


Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."


New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."


Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!