Funniest Marshaling Moment

[EvilPumpkin]

deej - you're not far enough away to call him Irish dear....he's Scottish you know That's the SECOND time you've done that! He's going to come looking for you if you keep this up......

And I'm not telling - you'll have to wait for HIM to explain!

[djb]

First, last summer my sister marries a Scotsman , and now this......

just had a thought, good thing it was a frog and not a toad (you know, that wart thing )

[djb]

ps, while on the subject, while walking into the site the Saturday of the Can GP, there was Mr. Stewart himself talking with someone before getting into a car.

His pants, however, were thankfully not as "loud" as the ones he was wearing at silverstone last weekend.

[EvilPumpkin]

One wonders why you were looking at Mr. Stewart's pants?

[flaggie1]

A good one for me was at the Sandown 500 last year getting going on the sunday morning setting up at our point at the top of hill on the back straight. 30metres up the track from us is the crossover for the grand prix circuit( which is now not much more then a great big dirt pile.) which was used for the sportscars back in the eighties. Anyway Victor 2 was stationed there for the duration of the day and one of the nurses riding along is a good friend with the senior on the point. She had come up for a chat and after about 20 minutes they were about to do the stewards inspection so off shes run back to the car. About halfway back she drops her mobile phone, which being civalrous my senior toke off to retrieve it and take to her. After about half dozen steps the senior has gone A OVER T and aroused a chorus of laughter and applause from my point and the next point. Off which they have proceeded to right an incident report about it and the recommendation at the end was to inform the member to stop chasing girls along the trackside as he may cause surrounding members to split there sides.

[djb]

Originally posted by EvilPumpkin
One wonders why you were looking at Mr. Stewart's pants?

Smartypants (I guess I set myself up for that one)

I wasn't looking at his pants in Montreal, it was just that at Silverstone, the plaid just jumped out of the tv screen KASPROING and gobsmacked me with its visual loudness.

oh and flaggie1, good Stewart clutch quote.

[Flaggie]

And who wrote the incident report, flaggie1? heheehe This little black duck.

Another funny one was the time one of our state level sports sedan drivers pulled off and came and stood on the point to wait for recovery. Now Aussie sports sedans are basically anything goes, spaceframe, 6 litre Chev engined silhouettes. They're BLOODY QUICK, and this guy drives one of the quicker ones.

This driver came and stood behind us with sports sedans at full noise screaming past. His comment? "Jeeeesus, you blokes are #^#(@^^@)@ing crazy" and then he walked away and sat down.

Then there was the legenday time at an historic meeting when a guy pulled up on the cooldown lap, jumped out and answered his mobile that was in the boot and ringing...

[Stone-kicker]

Back in the old days of sand traps at Donington Park, the water used to collect in the sand on the exit on Mcleans.
This required the wearing of wellies instead of walking boots.
In came a sports 2000 (which always had flat bottoms) and the driver abandoms ship. At the end of the seesion we all make our way down to the car which has now settled quite securely on its floor pan.
Much pushing, pulling and lifting later, the car begins to move. So do I, backwards, and I'm almost full welly depth in the liquified sand - feet won't come out of the wellies - gravity takes over and I take the place of the Sports 2000 stuck in the sand trap, on my back with my lower legs at 90 deg. to my body still stuck in the sand.

Snatch tractor anyone?

[Stuart Hill]

I know it's about the wife, but just has to be told !!!!!!!

She'd done a couple of Hillclimbs with me and knew the basics. Take a bottle, check for fluids and keep track clean..............so.........

we turned up at Mallory Park.

We're on Devil's Elbow and a car goes into the gravel trap below us (exiting the Esses). Driver out, no probs.

Session ends, we all troop down to push it out ready for recovery.
All seems OK so far?????

Now for the fun bit...........

As we leave the car (centre of track) we head back to post through the aforementioned gravel trap. The wife (Jo) has a broom in her hand. She then hears the instruction......

"You have to repair the grooves in the gravel trap or they won't work!!)............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can imagine our reaction as she gets to the gravel and is about to "re-do" the grooves before turning round and seeing us all doubled-up on track in serious pain!!!!!

She has never lived this down but...........
has also shown that she always listens to her I/O, even if he/she is talking s**t !!!

[Stuart Hill]

Couldn't fail to let you all know about the start of a National Hillclimb meeting at Prescott.

New sponsors (name witheld!) for the championship and the Clerk decides to allow the director to open the Hill!!!

All goes well until the final corner.................
a blind sweeping hairpin with nothing to see except sky!!!!!

Director loses it, stuffs car into boondocks and rips the sump out!!!!!

Meeting delayed by 40 mins to recover car and clean up mess!!!!

This happens at 2 o'clock on Sunday and by 8am Monday, the entire sponsors group of dealerships knows about!!!!

Needless to say, that director "had a day off" !!!!!

[Stuart Hill]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Stone-kicker
[B]Back in the old days of sand traps at Donington Park, the water used to collect in the sand on the exit on Mcleans.

I had an experience with the sand!!!!!!

Porsche driver loses it at the Old Hairpin, ends up in the bog (wet sand!!)
proceeds to blame all other drivers about his going off when there was no-one else involved!!! We of course "send him away" !!!!
He proceeds to the next post to get some help as we survey his car. Parked against the tyres with n/side wing mirror folded back. Not a problem

But......................
end of session.......
I jump down with my I/O to find ourselves in an ankle deep bog, no driver and then............
No towing eye!! all the stickers but nothing there!!!
what do I do????
just as my I/O instructs...........
"just find something substantial and attach the rope to that"
so I do.........using the front suspension.
Wrecker turns up, stays on track and passes long cable
I attach and wait for the wrecker to slowly ease this car from the bog.

but no.............. wrecker takes off at full speed...........
taking..........



entire front corner of otherwise undamaged Porsche with it!!!!!!!!

"Ermmm!!!! would you like to come back for the rest of it????"

I would love to have seen the driver explain the state of "his" car to the team!!

[Pete Howarth]

A friend of mine while at Mallory on post 5 forgot that Alfa's are front wheel drive while pushing the back onto the track. Pushing from the side on the rear corner with the driver trying to get traction, the driver turned the wheels needless to say orange turned to brown from head to toe.

Pete Howarth

[Woolley]

Gravity works stronger on marshalls - first law, the more embarrassing it is to fall over the more likely you will.

Running downhill at a hillclimb, extinguisher tucked neatly under arm, find I cannot stop and trip over the Caterham I'm supposed to be helping. The driver said it cheered him up and took his mind of his accident, though. Anything in the name of duty...

[Flaggie]

Similar to Crazystu's Porsche one....

At Winton the tow car is an old V8 Bedford truck with a hand winch winder. So a Formula Ford stuffs it into the tyre wall backwards at what we lovingly call "The Tank". End of session out doddles the old Bedford. Hooks up to the tow eye and driver, who's on the tarmac, forgets that car is embedded in tyres. Drops the clutch of the old tow track, and promptly rips the front nose off this Formula Ford.... Needless to say the Driver of the Formula Ford was unimpressed....

Also at Winton... Formula Ford has a HUGE hit on track somewhere, involving a car breaking in half. Safety Crew extract driver, who's uninjured. He turns around, takes one look at the wreck, stammers "My c....ar" and faints. Delayed Shock we think...

[Stone-kicker]

Possibly the thing we've all wanted to see, but the question posed by a (female) trainee.

We had one car running round losing fuel from the filler cap and another trailing a sparking exhaust, the question of course, "couldn't the track catch fire?"

[Richy_Rich]

Logical. My younger brother was famous at his primary school for the following conversation:

Teacher - "What nice effect do you get if it rains and at the same time the sun is shining?"
Brother - "Warm rain?"

[Motor Ace]

warm rain, i do see logic in that!
Most of the the things i remember however are not that of happy, embarrasing moments! unless you call falling of the balcony of the medical center at Lakside. and slipping into the pond at QR!

[MagnetON]

Warm Rain.... had that in Kenya, it was rather strange, like being in the shower. now if I'd only had shampoo and conditioner it would have been great!

[MagnetON]

Right, here's one that combines "Strange Radio Messages" as well.

"Race Control To Rescue Unit"
"Receiving"
"Get us three fish suppers as well"

Said on Saturday as the Rescue Unit loaded with several additional marshals goes past on the outside of the circuit heading towards the chip van because the circuit catering had slept in and there was no one to cook lunch.

And how do I know about this radio conversation.... Well myself and the radio operator for "Colonial" were following the rescue unit down the road in the Jeep and we still had the radio on....

[Mocko]

I remember at Knockhill last year at the tocatour the Formula Renalt race was on and there was a big smash at McIntyres. One car stopped at the tyre wall at Butcher's so two marshalls ran to help and one poor marshall fell over flat on his face when running down the hill. It wasn't a small crowd either as the Sprint race spectators stayed for the race (all of them laughing).

[JR Ewing]

In an FF1600 race some years at Silverstone, I badly misjudged the braking point on the first lap at the hairpin, ran up the inside of everyone, shat myself, spun the car through 180 degrees and hit the wall (some distance from the track) backwards.
The first marshall ran up and said, rather dryly I thought, "I've never before seen anybody overtake 9 cars at once."
Hmmm, well it was bloody funny at the time!

[Dave Brand]

Some Anglesey radio messages:

'Control to all points: as we are running late, the last race is postponed until tomorrow'

'Control from assembly: do you still want me to call the cars for the last race?'

'Control from Rescue One: on post at.........wherever we are.'......the next few calls from Rescue One claimed that they were on post at places like Paddock Hill bend, etc.....anywhere but Anglesey!

[TimD]

Overheard at Mallory long ago as a course car pulls up near a marshals post.

Driver: "How many are you?"

Marshal: "Eh?"

Driver: "On your post - how many are you?"

Marshal: "Oh, er, three of us. It's enough."

Driver: "Three. Okay."

Driver then pulls out three boxes of sandwiches, hamburgers and tinnies, and starts walking across to the post.

Marshal (seeing the food): "Hang on, I'm wrong. There's nine of us. Definitely nine of us...."

[Woolley]

Story recently told to me. The marshall concerned was at the time a junior marshall, and so was only allowed in the paddock. A Ferrari has been dropped off by the recovery vehicle, and the driver has wandered off. Our hero jumps in the car while the team push it back. As they reach the team's transporter, he applies the brakes, only to discover the reason the car retired - no brakes. As he is nearly at the point of disaster, he puts the clutch down, drops the car into first and lets the clutch up in order to use the gearbox to stop the car. Unfortunately the electics are still on, and the engine fires, causing him to accelarate, driving the undamaged car into the side of the transporter. He's last seen running away saying 'that's what you said - the side of the transporter'!

[Guisbro Rod H]

Marshalling is different in Ireland, Outsiders go at their peril. You are given a radio and therefore think you are an observer. WRONG, you are the I/O so don't stand there talking down the radio, get the car shifted, etc. Naturally outsiders fall into bad habits and revert to reporting driving standards like an observer; but at least I do not have an Irish accent. So what happened at Mondello Park?

Contol from Delta 23. "One of the Palmer Audis has just hit one of the strong corner markers trying a short cut." Control correctly reminds me that in Ireland there are seperate Driving Standards Observers who often stand remote from the marshalling posts. Delta 23, "It was the only lady driver so I suppose its expected" I say on the radio for all to hear. Control "You do realise we have a large number of lady marshals at Mondello". Delta 23 "I was only trying to wake them up"

Over the radio an unknown Irish lad chips in "The only time you wake up a lady marshal is in the morning to say thank you!"

There wasn't a big enough hole in the ground for me to hide my embaressment. What the Irish lady marshals did to us males afterwards in punishment is another story!