Kick Those Shoes Off and Relax. It's the Delta 2017 Tea Break

[gary396]

Had a new staircase installed recently - the fitters managed to cut through the alarm cable. Got the carpet fitters in today putting new carpet on said staircase so I went out of my way to point out the alarm cables - guess what!

[Mike Harte]

Originally Posted by gary396

Had a new staircase installed recently - the fitters managed to cut through the alarm cable. Got the carpet fitters in today putting new carpet on said staircase so I went out of my way to point out the alarm cables - guess what!

That will teach you for not going wireless!

(only joking)

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

That will teach you for not going wireless!

(only joking)

It always amuses me when I see a sign that says: 'This door is alarmed'

Why - what scared it?

[VIVA GT]

Originally Posted by John Elwin

It always amuses me when I see a sign that says: 'This door is alarmed'

Why - what scared it?

I have similar thoughts about road signs such as:
Caution Lorries Turning - What's a Caution Lorry carrying?
Heavy Plant Crossing - I expect to see something in a huge plant pot crossing the road.
Free Range Eggs - What are Range Eggs and why do people give them away?

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by VIVA GT

I have similar thoughts about road signs such as:
Caution Lorries Turning - What's a Caution Lorry carrying?
Heavy Plant Crossing - I expect to see something in a huge plant pot crossing the road.
Free Range Eggs - What are Range Eggs and why do people give them away?

One spotted on the ferry the other week: "Do not put foreign objects in the toilet" (or words to that effect).

Does that mean a foreign chappie can't have a poo?

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by John Elwin

One spotted on the ferry the other week: "Do not put foreign objects in the toilet" (or words to that effect).

Does that mean a foreign chappie can't have a poo?

Then there's the examples you see in cafes etc that warn you the tea/coffee/water is hot. I should flippin' well hope so!

[Mike Harte]

A valuable lesson to anyone posting their tales of woe on these here pages - don't look for any sympathy, 'cos it's in bloomin' short supply!

[Mike Harte]

One of the most common in the UK currently is the notice on nearly all ATMs - Free cash here.

Well, no matter how many times I have demanded my share of the free dosh, it always turns me down. I'm beginning to take it personally, now!

[bauble]

I always liked the notice seen on a reservoir near Staines many years ago;

'No Bathing No Horses'

and; On a footpath in Whetstone; No Riding No Cycles.'

[Tim Falce]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

A valuable lesson to anyone posting their tales of woe on these here pages - don't look for any sympathy, 'cos it's in bloomin' short supply!

Did I mention the rolling bale of hay and my flying lesson?

[Mike Harte]

Originally Posted by Tim Falce

Did I mention the rolling bale of hay and my flying lesson?

No. Do tell; could do with a chuckle.

[Lancsbreaker]

Originally Posted by delta

. Anyone remember what they were doing 50 years ago .

I was 17 and 11 days, so doubtless pestering my Dad for driving experience at every opportunity...........He worked in the same town I went to school, so I drove from home to his work and back at the end of the day, but that wasn't enough, naturally

[Tim Falce]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

No. Do tell; could do with a chuckle.

I picked some hay up for my wife's nags last week, as I was driving up our driveway I looked in the mirror to see both bales rolling off the trailer back down the drive. I jumped out to stop one by grabbing hold of it as it went downhill but it flipped me straight over the top and I did a somersault and landed in a holly bush followed by the hay. My glasses go thrown off my head at the same time and after an age spent looking for them in the bushes I gave up.

I managed to get the bales back on the trailer by turning round and driving back down the driveway and rolling them back on. After I'd put the bales away I thought I'd give it one more try to find my glasses, I found them in the drive broken into three pieces where I'd driven over them twice. I've not had any sympathy at all and my wife's mates started humming the Benny Hill theme when she told them. So Hay £60, new glasses £350, not having a dash cam running at the time, quite disappointing

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by Tim Falce

I picked some hay up for my wife's nags last week, as I was driving up our driveway I looked in the mirror to see both bales rolling off the trailer back down the drive. I jumped out to stop one by grabbing hold of it as it went downhill but it flipped me straight over the top and I did a somersault and landed in a holly bush followed by the hay. My glasses go thrown off my head at the same time and after an age spent looking for them in the bushes I gave up.

I managed to get the bales back on the trailer by turning round and driving back down the driveway and rolling them back on. After I'd put the bales away I thought I'd give it one more try to find my glasses, I found them in the drive broken into three pieces where I'd driven over them twice. I've not had any sympathy at all and my wife's mates started humming the Benny Hill theme when she told them. So Hay £60, new glasses £350, not having a dash cam running at the time, quite disappointing

Maybe you could recoup the cost by selling the scenario to Specsavers for a new TV ad?

[delta]

Sorry Tim but what a great story .

[bauble]

Now how did that song go ....?

"Roll me over, lay me down, and do it again."


I have heard about a roll in the hay, but never quite that complicated. Is it n the Kama Sutra, Tim?

Sympathy? Yeah, Right!!!

Quite appropriate I thought.

[Gerard C]

Mon Ami Robert, it seems that your friend Tim and OW's wife could make a virtual club here .

[Lancsbreaker]

I am really sympathetic, Tim........once I stop laughing

[gary396]

Potential diary date for next year - Goodwood Revival scheduled for 7th-9th Sept.

And if interested in the other Goodwood thing - FOS - 12th-15th July.

Both dates provisional.

[Eric Falce]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

A valuable lesson to anyone posting their tales of woe on these here pages - don't look for any sympathy, 'cos it's in bloomin' short supply!

And there's poor me taking my poor little nephew to Spa with all the rest of my crew to give them a track day, promptly went down with a stomach bug, spent all day Sunday in bed , Tim and the rest apparently working out who was going to work my arm to wave to the passport people if I snuffed and they had to prop me up in the passenger seat.

[terence]

Hope your better now Eric.I was instructing with CircuitDays at Spa on monday.Really well run thanks to Chris and Darren btw.
Little bit wet first thing but we had 18 degrees by mid day,and a dry track.Perfect for some time in a 458.

[delta]

Well I'm not far from Zandvoort and it's howling down . I woke up with wet feet . The little 7.5 tonner truck leaks . 😀

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by delta

Well I'm not far from Zandvoort and it's howling down . I woke up with wet feet . The little 7.5 tonner truck leaks . ��

Very wet & windy here too. Cue Bauble....

[Tim Falce]

Originally Posted by terence

Hope your better now Eric.I was instructing with CircuitDays at Spa on monday.Really well run thanks to Chris and Darren btw.
Little bit wet first thing but we had 18 degrees by mid day,and a dry track.Perfect for some time in a 458.

Shame I missed you there Terry. TBH I found the track more drivable first thing than when it started to dry, second time out I couldn't keep Eric's Fiesta on the track until I came in and let about 20psi out of the tyres.

[terence]

Would that be the Red car Tim?
Looked to be going well.
Good driving standards,only one "off" which resulted in a radio call asking when they were going to get their act together and get the gravel pile shifted back to where it came from(after driving through it for four laps!!