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Regarding the "Wet Wood" thing. Simply look around your local area for "fly tippped" sofas, mattresses etc. Collect them together, then find someone who collects contaminated diesel/petrol from missfuelling errors. Soak the former with the latter, chuck in a flaming Swan Vesta, pile up a few wet logs nearby to feel the warmth and - hey you're doing your bit for the environment...
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