Bell's Banter 2022

[delta]

Funny you should mention that Gordon . My Citroen van had been playing up all year with engine light coming on and miss firing . Martin my old mechanic looked it and found multi plug damp . Been perfect now . Happy days .?

[GORDON STREETER]

Originally Posted by delta

Funny you should mention that Gordon . My Citroen van had been playing up all year with engine light coming on and miss firing . Martin my old mechanic looked it and found multi plug damp . Been perfect now . Happy days .?

It happens more now since canbus wiring came in, as everything is worked with very small voltage differences, so the system is more susceptible to problems with any dodgy connections to and from the ecu's
Anyway the Larkins Funeral went well with probably up to 500 people in attendance, and they didn't run out of beer or wine that was free to everyone

[Gerard C]

Originally Posted by delta

Funny you should mention that Gordon . My Citroen van had been playing up all year with engine light coming on and miss firing . Martin my old mechanic looked it and found multi plug damp.

Guess what? On some engines there are several……… coils!

[midgetman]

Originally Posted by GORDON STREETER

I might take you up on that, don't chuck them away as I will probably get them off you in the new year

.

Ah that'll teach me to be economical with the truth for comic effect.

In all honesty I sent them back and got a refund. Scrappy didn't want to do it at first as they'd supplied "the right one" and they "don't do refunds."

"Ah," said I, "you supplied a Mk 1 this is a Mark 2."

"We have a Mk 2 we'll swap it."

"Ah," I replied, making something up on the spot because I really wanted the cash back. "But I'll bet that's a late Mk 2, mine's half Coventry and half French because of all the strikes they had at the time."

"Ah yes," they replied reluctantly, "we heard about those hybrids. Here's your money"

Phew!

Sent from my AC2003 using Tapatalk

[Gerard C]

If you car, any brand, has an OBDII (from 2004 and onwards), its worth to buy an electronic device looking for any electronic fault. The simple models go for cheap now.

[justracing]

Originally Posted by GORDON STREETER

however one of the major problems with the Pug 406 electrics are the multi plugs under the front carpets, they get damp for one reason or another and the contacts rust up and cause all sorts of problems.

Same problem with a number of the VW/Audi saloons including my old Passat whereby the drains in the front screen scuttle become blocked and water penetrates the bulkhead and floods under the front carpets and the electronics, even if your lucky enough to discover and rectify the problem, mopping up and drying the carpets is a nightmare.

[Mike Harte]

Originally Posted by Gerard C

If you car, any brand, has an OBDII (from 2004 and onwards), its worth to buy an electronic device looking for any electronic fault. The simple models go for cheap now.

I just wonder how accurate they are though, Gérard. A while ago, my BMW just conked out as I was driving along, thankfully on a very quiet road. My experience with cars in the past made me suspect that it was fuel starvation that caused the problem, and the fact that the engine was turning over but was not firing.

So, I called a taxi and went to the nearest petrol station and bought a petrol can and a gallon of juice, pored it in but still no firing. Next, I called the breakdown service and they sent one of their guys who plugged in his device which deemed that the problem was due to a faulty crankshaft sensor or possibly worse. This was then confirmed by a second breakdown chap who came along to tow the car to my mechanic.

The breakdown chap told my mechanic what he had told me, but he decided not to rely on their "opinion". Without my saying anything to him. he checked to see whether fuel was reaching the engine and found that the pump wasn't working. Using his intelligence, he replaced the fuse to the pump, and yes you guessed it, the engine roared into life.

This was about the summer two years ago, and since that time, I have had the same thing happen twice . The first time, I put a new fuse in and the car started straight away, whilst on the second occasion the new fuse slipped out of my hand so in desperation I put the fuse back in that I had just taken out and the engine started straight on the button and has been going without problems for over a year now.

At least it wasn't the coil!

[grantp]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

Grant, you mention your bank and it's phone app. My bank introduced a cash back system when using their debit and credit cards. However, they will only provide this if you apply for the cash back by using their phone app.

I, like, I expect, a lot of other people use my phone only for speaking to other people; everything else, I do via my laptop including the online banking website. Yes, I'm an old fart but doing things online is far easier than trying to do it on a relatively small phone screen. plus, of course, it has the advantage of having a full size keyboard and mouse, both wireless it goes without saying.

Up until the most recent update I preferred using the PC as well. Howver, the bank finally got it's act fully together with the phone app and it is much more convenient now. I had to get a new phone though, which was annoying at the time but was probably about due anyway, though I rarely use any of the phone's communications facilities.

The thing with the phone is that the connection to a verified number in addition to whatever codes one needs to access the app and, if one can be assumed to be a sensible person (I suspect that may be a minority), the phone will also have access protection from passcodes, or fingerprint detection or face recognition, the entire security setup is about as good as can be currently obtained.

Now on the surface, that level of protection alone may be a good reason for many to buy into the phone app banking project. However, it is also a tracker activity that encourages Governments to rush towards entirely electronic banking and "money" transaction methods.

It must be popular since banks are closing branches faster than anyone imaged they might 3 or 4 years ago, nearly everyone had become used to paying by card and or phone app, and the use of cash is greatly reduced.

The greater public does not seem to be objecting to this much, if at all.

I bet that if they were forced to use ID cards for the same purposes there would be uproar in the UK. But an electronic version of the same thing is not questioned.

[Gerard C]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

I just wonder how accurate they are though, Gérard. At least it wasn't the coil!

You're right Mike, they are not one hundred per cent accurate. And sometimes lead to misunderstanding, i-e "saying" its an injector, # 2 is faulty, and the number is not the right one. Agreed again, no device can fully replace intelligence together with experience and logic. I still use a 2004 530D with some miles on the clock as a tow car and love it. Considering the year, rust issues apart, it was well ahead many competitors.

[VIVA GT]

Originally Posted by Gerard C

You're right Mike, they are not one hundred per cent accurate. And sometimes lead to misunderstanding, i-e "saying" its an injector, # 2 is faulty, and the number is not the right one. Agreed again, no device can fully replace intelligence together with experience and logic. I still use a 2004 530D with some miles on the clock as a tow car and love it. Considering the year, rust issues apart, it was well ahead many competitors.

Like most things, an OBD scanner is just a tool, and not a magic machine that you simply plug into any car and it tells you exactly what is wrong and what you have to do to solve the problem. (The number of times I have to explain this to customers...) You can get information from the scanner and use that information along with other 'physical' diagnostic checks to actually confirm what the problem really is caused by. As an aside, in the subject of injector 'numbering', we have found that sometimes, this can refer to the faulty cylinder in the actual firing order (1, 3, 4, 2 for example) and not the physical cylinder location on the engine (which to add further confusion, some manufacturers class cylinder 1 as the one nearest the crankshaft pulley, whereas others class it as the one nearest to the flywheel!)

[GORDON STREETER]

Originally Posted by VIVA GT

Like most things, an OBD scanner is just a tool, and not a magic machine that you simply plug into any car and it tells you exactly what is wrong and what you have to do to solve the problem.

Absolutely, I have been using scanners since they first came out right up to the latest types that cost a small fortune that then costs more each year with updates.
You have to learn how to "drive" these machines otherwise a wrong diagnoses can trigger another, and unless you delete all codes and run the car to see what has started the "train" it could cost you (or the customer) a small fortune.
One particular instance that I remember is a Main Volvo agent near me told one of my later customers that after scanning his car he definitely wanted a new ECU, the price at the time was several hundred pounds and reluctantly he paid a bill of nearly 1k. The problem appeared again within a few days and after taking it back for an autopsy, that took ages, it was discovered that a wrong bulb had been fitted (by the owner) in one of the daylight running lamps . He had fitted a single contact 382 type bulb instead of the double contact 380 type that was sending 12v back to the ECU along a 5v wire. I know that the 382 bulb is not an offset pin like the 380 but he had somehow bodged it in and the single contact was bridging the contacts on he lamp base

[crmalcolm]

Originally Posted by Mike Harte

I just wonder how accurate they are though, Gérard.

I think (as others have mentioned) the thing to remember is that the tool is very accurate. But, interpreting what it is telling you is the key part of diagnosing the fault.

The inputs to the OBDII system are from many sensors around the engine, and the codes should be interpreted along with the other symptoms to determine what is the issue.

Is the sensor faulty?
Is the sensor detecting something that is compensation for something else?

etc, etc, etc.

What is true is that the scanner is accurate - but the reading is only what is stored in the onboard part of the system.

[Lancsbreaker]

Agreed - I remember with my first Golf GTi, a fairly early Mk2 that had had a fair life before I got it. Shortly after I got it, it refused to start.....Contacted the garage I got it off and they advised to get the local VW dealer to look at it - their diagnosis (from the computer) was "Hall Effect Sensor", which they duly replaced, at what was then a fair cost. Next morning it wouldn't start again.....old school investigation eventually tracked it down to water having leaked into the fuse box, causing corrosion issues. Cleaned everything up and it worked fine for several years.


And of course the cheap "universal" OBD readers now available do have their limitations, especially when manufacturers such as the Fiat group used their own interpretations of the codes - so for my Alfa I have to use a (very good) programme called MultiECUscan, downloaded to the laptop, and with some modified ELM cables, to get full diagnostics. Not that it needs much checking - and if anything does fail, its usually the Bosch component.....

[midgetman]

Originally Posted by GORDON STREETER

Absolutely, I have been using scanners since they first came out right up to the latest types that cost a small fortune that then costs more each year with updates.
You have to learn how to "drive" these machines otherwise a wrong diagnoses can trigger another, and unless you delete all codes and run the car to see what has started the "train" it could cost you (or the customer) a small fortune.

I think this is A Good Thing. If any Tom, Dick or Max were able to plug them in and get a result then there's be no work for the Skilled Gordons of this world and garages would disappear.

Sent from my AC2003 using Tapatalk

[Peter Mallett]

I was driving my XJS a few weeks ago and the "check engine" light came on. Since the gauges were all normal I continued for approx 30 miles and parked at home. Before I tried to start it the next day, I checked the oil and water, the former was at the required level and the latter had no signs of contamination, so I turned the key and..... zilch. The plugs were of unknown vintage so I ordered a new set and when they arrived I changed them and voila! The engine fired up straight away. Havent driven it far since, due to weather, so don't know if the light will come on again but I missed the error code on the dash computer when it happened so I'm not sure if I've cured it. I tried to find a garage to check it over and they all said the car was too old for their computers. Worrying for us Classic Car owners.

[GORDON STREETER]

The main problem today is that there are very few people left in the original type of motor mechanic trade now, the ICE (as we know it) is (supposedly) being fazed out to go electric, and the few people that were taught to actually "repair things" are in advanced years (myself included) Although I still have a workshop I very rarely do much these days and I am slowly selling stuff off and and live in Spain for half of the year. I actually sold a 12v oscilloscope not long ago that I used to test various electronic" things" with before I condemmed it to the bin to save customers money, and of course you can't repair most of these encapsulated "things" anyway!

[Peter Mallett]

Just been out shopping with SWMBO, to a well known food hall, where they were stacking the shelves with loads of eggs, also just laong from that particular aisle there were shelves full of turkeys/turkey crowns etc. I mentioned the shortages to one of the assistants, who told me that they did run out of eggs a few days ago but she thought that was due to panic buying.

Anyone else think this bird flu thing is being manipulated by the retailers? I recognise that the disease is causing a problem to farmers.

[VIVA GT]

Originally Posted by Peter Mallett

Just been out shopping with SWMBO, to a well known food hall, where they were stacking the shelves with loads of eggs, also just laong from that particular aisle there were shelves full of turkeys/turkey crowns etc. I mentioned the shortages to one of the assistants, who told me that they did run out of eggs a few days ago but she thought that was due to panic buying.

Anyone else think this bird flu thing is being manipulated by the retailers? I recognise that the disease is causing a problem to farmers.

Sadly Peter I feel that induced panic is being manipulated for a number of reasons nowadays, mostly to gain some sort of 'control'.

[VIVA GT]

Just a slight subject change but usually at this time of year we begin talks about what we all think that this thread should be re-named to for the following 12 months with arguments/explanations as to why the new suggestions have been (er?) suggested.
So I thought I'd thought I'd start the ball rolling with my explanation first, and follow that with my suggestion for the new name.
We've all I'm sure noticed how quiet things have been on here over the past few months since a certain member left our esteemed community I suggest we call it the "What would Bauble have said thread?"

[John Elwin]

Originally Posted by VIVA GT

Just a slight subject change but usually at this time of year we begin talks about what we all think that this thread should be re-named to for the following 12 months with arguments/explanations as to why the new suggestions have been (er?) suggested.
So I thought I'd thought I'd start the ball rolling with my explanation first, and follow that with my suggestion for the new name.
We've all I'm sure noticed how quiet things have been on here over the past few months since a certain member left our esteemed community I suggest we call it the "What would Bauble have said thread?"

Seconded!

[GORDON STREETER]

Or what about "It's the coil"

[delta]

I can’t remember what the original name was . I can remember poor John getting cross with me as I kept going off topic so he gave in and we had T Break thread . Nice and simple . ?

[crmalcolm]

Originally Posted by delta

I can’t remember what the original name was . I can remember poor John getting cross with me as I kept going off topic so he gave in and we had T Break thread . Nice and simple . ?

IIRC, the initial thread was 'the lighter side'. Then became Tea-Break a couple of years later?

[Peter Mallett]

Hmm, tricky. I'll pm you both.

Edit: That was to John and Viva.

[Peter Mallett]

Originally Posted by GORDON STREETER

Or what about "It's the coil"

Never!