Bell's Banter 2021

[midgetman]

Sadly my asthmatic old bangers can barely double the town speed limit, never mind the motorway

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[GORDON STREETER]

I have to admit that I have a pretty bad conviction record for speeding with 16. I have had 3 bans mainly all in the 60s and early 70s. That's why I decided that I had better go and race cars where you don't get done for going too fast. I was also under a road ban when I was racing on the ovals. In my defence I have never been involved in a road accident that has been attributed to me, but I am fully aware of the consequences of driving too fast on the roads.

[Paul D]

Originally Posted by midgetman

So the word got out you were a bit of a dodgy dealer then did it?

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I did think about getting some cards printed up with 'Purveyor of quality getaway cars to the discerning bank robber' written on them!

But the second time it happened to me (actually the first, chronologically), it wasn't a car I'd sold, but a car I owned that got nicked from outside the house at night. I lived on a main road at the time. Piece of advice - don't live on a main road if you have cars which are likely to appeal to the local riff-raff!

Anyway, I digress. The car in question was a Sierra XR4i. For the benefit of those who don't remember, this was a three-door Sierra fitted with the V6 2.8 injection engine, but at a glance the uninitiated could mistake it for a Cosworth, perhaps explaining its appeal to the local scumbags. As it happens, the car was off the road at the time, and as some extra security, I'd removed the coil HT lead. Not just unplugged it mind you, but completely removed it from the car and took it in the house. Would you believe the cheeky b*stards went up the road about six houses, broke into a Fiesta, took the HT lead off that and came back, stuck it on my Sierra and had it away with it! Unbelievable!

But there's more: the police found the car the next day, up a quiet cul-de-sac in Bootle (a none-too salubrious part of Liverpool). The car was undamaged (apart from the smashed steering lock), was left with fuel in it (unheard off when it's joyriders, who usually run them out then torch them!) and even had a big screwdriver down the side of the seat ready to turn the broken ignition barrel to start it up again. The copper who found the car reckoned it had been nicked to be used as a 'secondary' getaway car after something like a ram-raid. Apparently, they'd nick something big & substantial enough to ram through the front of a jeweller's or similar, fill the boot with the gear, then drive to where the second car has been parked up close by a few days earlier to 'cool off', swap all the gear into that one and be away - and they're then in something reasonably handy should they find the cops on their tail, a cumbersome, smashed up 4x4 not being ideal for this purpose!

But there's even more, and it gets more unbelievable. Having got the car back, I was now paranoid about it going missing again. Having repaired the damage, I put it back on the road and was using it, but every night I was padlocking it up with a huge ship anchor chain which would have required some serious cutters to get through. A few months went by, with me religiously chaining it up every night. Then, one night, when I was due out very early the next morning for a long drive (I mean really early, like 3 a.m. early) I got complacent and didn't chain it up, as I didn't want to be clanking the chain around at that time of the morning. You know what's coming next don't you? Yep, got up at 2:30 to find the car gone... again. I couldn't believe it! I don't believe in coincidence, which means they must have been checking every night for months, just waiting for that one time I didn't chain it up.

You may ask how could I know it was the same scumbags, and not simply an unfortunate coincidence. Well, how about this: the police found it again the next day, it was within half a mile of where it turned up the first time, and once again, undamaged, with fuel in it and a screwdriver by the side of the seat!

I'm just thankful that, both times it was found before being used for its intended purpose, after which it would almost certainly have been torched.

And the one thing I never figured out about all this? All through this time, there was a perfectly serviceable 2.8 injection Capri parked next to the Sierra with more or less the same performance (same drivetrain), it had no extra security and was at least as easy to nick as the Sierra. Yet, during this period spanning a few months, they apparently never showed any interest in the Capri. While the Sierra was chained up every night, the Capri was sitting there ripe for the taking - yet it was never touched. Go figure...

[zefarelly]

Originally Posted by GORDON STREETER

I have to admit that I have a pretty bad conviction record for speeding with 16. I have had 3 bans mainly all in the 60s and early 70s. That's why I decided that I had better go and race cars where you don't get done for going too fast. I was also under a road ban when I was racing on the ovals. In my defence I have never been involved in a road accident that has been attributed to me, but I am fully aware of the consequences of driving too fast on the roads.

I'm with you on the racing getting it our of your system, I've never thought I drive 'fast' but efficiently, or I don't slow down unnecessarily. I love the flyover at Shoreham, it great to pick lines and catch cars in front . . . even coasting.

the few times I've been done for speeding have been head on, plod hiding in trees. Last time was in the camper, doing 39 going from a 40 into a 30. Git was hiding in a bush behind the 30mph sign!

[zefarelly]

Originally Posted by Paul D

I did think about getting some cards printed up with 'Purveyor of quality getaway cars to the discerning bank robber' written on them!

But the second time it happened to me (actually the first, chronologically), it wasn't a car I'd sold, but a car I owned that got nicked from outside the house at night. I lived on a main road at the time. Piece of advice - don't live on a main road if you have cars which are likely to appeal to the local riff-raff!

Anyway, I digress. The car in question was a Sierra XR4i. For the benefit of those who don't remember, this was a three-door Sierra fitted with the V6 2.8 injection engine, but at a glance the uninitiated could mistake it for a Cosworth, perhaps explaining its appeal to the local scumbags. As it happens, the car was off the road at the time, and as some extra security, I'd removed the coil HT lead. Not just unplugged it mind you, but completely removed it from the car and took it in the house. Would you believe the cheeky b*stards went up the road about six houses, broke into a Fiesta, took the HT lead off that and came back, stuck it on my Sierra and had it away with it! Unbelievable!

But there's more: the police found the car the next day, up a quiet cul-de-sac in Bootle (a none-too salubrious part of Liverpool). The car was undamaged (apart from the smashed steering lock), was left with fuel in it (unheard off when it's joyriders, who usually run them out then torch them!) and even had a big screwdriver down the side of the seat ready to turn the broken ignition barrel to start it up again. The copper who found the car reckoned it had been nicked to be used as a 'secondary' getaway car after something like a ram-raid. Apparently, they'd nick something big & substantial enough to ram through the front of a jeweller's or similar, fill the boot with the gear, then drive to where the second car has been parked up close by a few days earlier to 'cool off', swap all the gear into that one and be away - and they're then in something reasonably handy should they find the cops on their tail, a cumbersome, smashed up 4x4 not being ideal for this purpose!

But there's even more, and it gets more unbelievable. Having got the car back, I was now paranoid about it going missing again. Having repaired the damage, I put it back on the road and was using it, but every night I was padlocking it up with a huge ship anchor chain which would have required some serious cutters to get through. A few months went by, with me religiously chaining it up every night. Then, one night, when I was due out very early the next morning for a long drive (I mean really early, like 3 a.m. early) I got complacent and didn't chain it up, as I didn't want to be clanking the chain around at that time of the morning. You know what's coming next don't you? Yep, got up at 2:30 to find the car gone... again. I couldn't believe it! I don't believe in coincidence, which means they must have been checking every night for months, just waiting for that one time I didn't chain it up.

You may ask how could I know it was the same scumbags, and not simply an unfortunate coincidence. Well, how about this: the police found it again the next day, it was within half a mile of where it turned up the first time, and once again, undamaged, with fuel in it and a screwdriver by the side of the seat!

I'm just thankful that, both times it was found before being used for its intended purpose, after which it would almost certainly have been torched.

And the one thing I never figured out about all this? All through this time, there was a perfectly serviceable 2.8 injection Capri parked next to the Sierra with more or less the same performance (same drivetrain), it had no extra security and was at least as easy to nick as the Sierra. Yet, during this period spanning a few months, they apparently never showed any interest in the Capri. While the Sierra was chained up every night, the Capri was sitting there ripe for the taking - yet it was never touched. Go figure...

Have you ever tried loading 4 or 5 people in a capri in a rush? also a far more obvious car.

on the subject of chain, I had the same with my Lambretta outside my flat in the 90's, didn't lock it one night and it went walkies . . . . found it in a hedge about 500 metres away, pretty much undamaged, kids I reckon, didn't know how to startit, turn the fuel on or ride it so dumped it.

Daren't leave them out these days, they're slung in vans and gone in seconds, although social media and security footage has been good in identifying said tea leaves. One guy who passed away recently, bought his TV175 new in 1961, got stolen about 5 years ago from his home in London, was offered for sale (most of it) blasted and primed 'for restoration' 2 days later in Worthing . . . . word got out and a few days later it miraculously re appeared exactly where it dissapeared from.

[The Fat Clerk]

Shoreham Flyover, ah such happy memorys. In 1980/81 I was living in Lancing and working in Brighton with a permanent 4am start time. Me and my white mk2 RS2000 had many a good run.
Can't say that racing got it out of my system, in fact if anything it made me worse - cocky blighter.

[morninggents]

Looks like you've got your own race track with optional layouts there, Joe.

I have to say I drive a bit faster than I should which was OK when I was younger but not so good as I've got older as the edge does go from one's reactions.

[andy97]

Originally Posted by morninggents

Looks like you've got your own race track with optional layouts there, Joe.

I bet most of us were thinking the same

[Gerard C]

Originally Posted by zefarelly

Have you ever tried loading 4 or 5 people in a capri in a rush?

Not an easy task I reckon but isn't a XR4 a two door too? May be more discret in the traffic.
What is the name of this new track? Love it!

[S griffin]

I'm sure you could theoretically fit 5 people in a Capri, but height restrictions might apply. You need people about average at best in the back.

And yes that highway junction looks a bit of a fun ride for motorists

[Tel 911S]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...PTpzpFwMaiycJo

Sad sight . Car sales were about 15% down in 2020 .
Up to 50,000 unsold ones stored on Rockingham .

[VIVA GT]

Originally Posted by Tel 911S

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...PTpzpFwMaiycJo

Sad sight . Car sales were about 15% down in 2020 .
Up to 50,000 unsold ones stored on Rockingham .

And if it's anything like Bruntingthorpe, every one will have the ignition keys in them (just imagine the logistics of storing 50,000 sets of ignition keys!

[Mike Harte]

Originally Posted by zefarelly

I'm with you on the racing getting it our of your system, I've never thought I drive 'fast' but efficiently, or I don't slow down unnecessarily. I love the flyover at Shoreham, it great to pick lines and catch cars in front . . . even coasting.

the few times I've been done for speeding have been head on, plod hiding in trees. Last time was in the camper, doing 39 going from a 40 into a 30. Git was hiding in a bush behind the 30mph sign!

Enjoying the thrill of speed and trying to be better than others legally were my reasons for racing. It did temper my speeds on the road somewhat, but after I stopped racing I soon found that my quest was undiminished. I had to give up racing because I needed a new engine because I was being outclassed by others with more powerful units, but my soon to be wife persuaded me that the money required would be far better spent on a house where we could live.

To quench my passion for speed, I learnt to fly. I was able to justify that the cost could and should be borne by my company as it would enable me to visit customers and suppliers more easily if I could just get in a plane and fly myself to them at any time that suited me and them. And that pleased my wife as it meant that she didn't have to put up with me so much, especially if I took the children with me and so off her hands.

The last time that I believe that I was done for speeding was actually in Germany on an Autobahn. It was on the entry to an exposed bridge over a river or something, and the speed to be reduced to 100 kph, but I missed the first signs warning of this, and was thus exceeding the limit when I passed the speed cameras. As I was driving a hired BMW that was booked for me through the corporate travel agent that I used, the first that I knew about a possible fine was when the agent didn't provide an invoice for the hire car. When I queried this with them, they told me that there was an unspecified charge on the bill from the hire company, and they were waiting for the company to provide them with the documentation that raised the charge. As that was never provided, they never paid the hire company, and thus I had the free use for that car for about 10 days.

Originally Posted by morninggents

I have to say I drive a bit faster than I should which was OK when I was younger but not so good as I've got older as the edge does go from one's reactions.

In the past, I admit that I also drove faster than legally permitted, but in the last 10 years or so, I have found that there is not much point in going over the limit as I have that much more time on my hands. I must admit to being a bit of a pain about always being on time for appointments and catching planes, trains and buses, so I always leave plenty of time to be on time.

In fact, a couple of years ago I tested a few cars at Croft on a wet and miserable day, and I found that it gave me no satisfaction at all. It only served to prove to me that even current standard road cars handle far better even on a wet or damp track than my old race Anglia did in the dry 55 years ago. I would hazard a guess that my times were probably better in a road car than I would have achieved in the Anglia, I wasn't even pushing it.

[andy97]

I have certainly slowed down on the roads in recent years - 2 reasons: 1) racing and 2) being married to a magistrate tends to curtail things somewhat! My very own built in speed limiter.

[Gerard C]

The last times I've been caught for over speeding was with the trailer! And I've been lucky, because few cops are aware of the new speed limits when towing… As many here, I've slow down on the roads for hundreds of reasons, costs and traffic conditions coming first.
Unfortunately, I've slow down on the track too but can't explain why!

[midgetman]

I've slowed down for one simple reason - money! None of my vehicles are particularly economical and at speed they tend to be even worse. My Sprinter is a case in point - if ever something were badly named it's that. I suppose a service would help, but try to get above 70 and all that happens is the fuel gauge goes down faster.

I was caught in my old BX Diesel once. Downhill with the wind behind me. I wanted to frame the summons as proof it would actually go that fast.

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[Gerard C]

Originally Posted by midgetman

I was caught in my old BX Diesel once.

A product a BX driver will never buy to maintain his car:mosquito repellent! Well if you're looking for a crushed mosquito on a BX, check the rear bumper, the braking system is brutal! Actually…

[Mike Harte]

Originally Posted by midgetman

My Sprinter is a case in point - if ever something were badly named it's that. I suppose a service would help, but try to get above 70 and all that happens is the fuel gauge goes down faster.

Back in the early 2000s, as a part of the services my firm offered, I went undercover at a largish electrical retailer to uncover for them why they were losing money in their distribution network. I posed as a delivery driver for a number of weeks at their centre in Hemel Hempstead, usually driving their contract hire Mercedes 7.5 tonners, but on occasion I drove a Sprinter van along to the Southend area.

On the way back, as it was getting late in the day, I put my foot down whenever the M25 was clear - not that often, but it can happen - and I was amazed as the speed that could be attained in the van, with 110 mph (176 kph) being reached with ease. Road holding wasn't that bad either!

[Peter Mallett]

I recall way back in 1982 I was driving my 1300L escort MkIV up the A3. It was a sunny day and just as I passed the Cobham overpass, I noticed a Rover in my rear view Mirror. Since it was plod I gently slowed and pulled over. A very tall uniformed bloke got out of the Rover and looking down under his peaked cap he asked me if I knew what speed I was doing. I suggested 80 mph, he shook his head and said "When we caught you, you were doing 103 mph but in slowing down and stopping you averaged 96. What should we book you for?" I suggested 96 might be a better bet. He did remark that the car went quite well. That was three points and an endorsement. The car had covered around 60k miles even though it was only 18 months old. It was an OAO reg from Carlisle and was my then company car.

[VIVA GT]

All this talk about being slower nowadays reminds me of a T shirt I once saw a chap wearing at a race meeting quite a few years ago (Bushy Park in Barbados). It had a large picture of a racing Mini on the front and the wording: The older I get, the faster I was!

[Lancsbreaker]

I think I might have slowed slightly, too - and I ought to give credit to my last speed awareness course Not sure it has had much effect outside of urban areas, though.


Gerard - my mate had a BX16v GTi which could worry a few mosquitos I remember I was driving it, towing his race Clan many years ago at a sane and safe 80+ mph on a motorway when I noticed something in my rear view mirror, that gave me that niggling feeling.....so I eased off slightly, and then a little more as it became evident that it was Police...... He pulled alongside and then slightly in front - and displayed the message "Towing speed limit 60" on his rear window message board.....I eased off some more and flashed my headlights to acknowledge this, and he booted it and shot off into the distance. I'm sure it was a case of "I know that you were speeding, you know that you were speeding, but as you were alert enough to see me and slow, I'll let you off" Good (and quick) tow car, the BX.


My mate's later tow barge was a 5-pot turbo Sprinter. That would accelerate hard when you put your foot down doing 90

[Mike Harte]

The last time I recall speeding in the UK was in 1990, when I was living in Harpenden. I got a phone call from one of my sons from Gatwick Airport: 'Dad, I am really, really sorry, but you know that you said that I couldn't be trusted to look after my passport? Well, you were right! I've left it at home, in my bedroom, and my flight to Switzerland (he was going skiing with his school) leaves in an hour and a half. Can you try to get it to me, PLEASE?'

I did that trip in one hour and 5 minutes on, luckily, a really quiet Saturday afternoon, and when I arrived in my trusty Crown, (I loved that car, and it gave me over 250,000 miles of trouble-free motoring) the disc brakes were glowing red, only to be greeted by my sheepish looking son who then told me that the flight had been delayed by many hours so there had been no need to rush! Thanks for that!

On the way back, I kept religiously to the speed limits, and it only took me 5 minutes longer. That was when I started to slow down when on the road, having realised that all that speeding didn't really save that much time. Much better, calmer and possibly safer to just leave 5 or so minutes earlier than I might have done previously.

Edit: Memory fade. Just realised that I have written that the last time I sped was in 1990. Not true, as my Sprinter experience was 10 years' later!

[midgetman]

Can I just clarify that the speed limiter/cruise control on my Sprinter is set to 69.9mph on the motorways and 59.9mph otherwise? I'd hate anyone looking in to get the wrong idea.



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[Gerard C]

What a batch of sportsmen we are here. Look at what age does to dynamic and open minds. Sprinters! Four wheels at rear or just two which is better for the aerodynamics. BX too! What about a Talbot, hein les jeunes? Not JR style but a good Horizon or better Solara!

See the poor jokes brit bikers make about Volvo drivers? We have the same here. The best pic of a BX driver is an ex school teacher, half asleep - half dead, his old wife in the same state but in the glove box, the whole on the fast lane at 45 mph! Gasping moaning and wondering why the other drivers are using their horn!
BX 19 diesel made my day. XL or Super Sport Turbo de luxe?

[zefarelly]

Originally Posted by Tel 911S

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...PTpzpFwMaiycJo

Sad sight . Car sales were about 15% down in 2020 .
Up to 50,000 unsold ones stored on Rockingham .

I saw this, hoping it'll help me get the Alfa cheaper than Advertised . . . Especially as what I want is £4k over budget ;-)

Lad at COllege had an XR4i, always thought it was a great car, it was a 4 door.