(In)famous marshals sayings thread

[AndyMil]

Originally Posted by gravel_monkey

i know exactly which marsall it was who couldnt write his own name because he was to cold as i was stood next to him and ken on knickerbrook but i will let him grass himself up!!!

i remeber at druids on fpa day saying to our io,
"god, i could have a sleep, its like a set of parade laps this!"

10 seconds later we were all running for cover as the f355 crashed through the barriers!

Thanks, the rest of us got a 20 min power nap

[snetmarshal]

A certain "Asp" came up with a clasic comment at the night practice for the 2Cv's today, but has banned me putting his quote on here, so I will allow him to when he is next online....... all I will say is such topics should be kept private!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sib668]

i've got a nasty habit of sayin i'm bored an usually within 3 laps all hell's broke lose... there is also the marshalls prayer said by every one on the first corner.... For what we are about to recieve.....God help us

[Steve Gibson]

At the recent F3/GT meeting at Croft
Race director to Clerk running GT's as the Pit Stop window opens "all we need now is a safty car shout" Cue the Brown smelly sticky stuff hitting the electric air agitating machine

[wensleydale]

Originally Posted by snetmarshal

A certain "Asp" came up with a clasic comment at the night practice for the 2Cv's today, but has banned me putting his quote on here.......

Don't let him stop you posting it, he's the one who likes to put "random quotes" (usually suggestive) in the chatroom topic

[AndyMil]

Yesterday at Mallory, Practice " That clio's gonna have a big one if he's not careful" Race "Oh S***" we did say he was gonna have a big one, just not at us, Result
1 Clio totalled, 2 marshals knackered, 3 gobs shut for rest of day!!!!

[Tracey]

Best phrase not to use on the rescue unit I'm on - 'Right, time for a cup of tea.' Tea is usually then seen flying out of the window as we get scrambled!

Plus 'You can't park it there' and 'Black bit yours, green bits ours!'

[Rich D]

OK, not a marshal quote, but heard this from an F1200 driver who hit the wall at 2A at Mosport (while I was at 3 --- see magnet thread for that relevance!)

"That's not fair, I was the only one driving the correct line in the wet through that corner"

[Ian Smith]

Many years ago on Post two at mallory 2CV Race started and what seemed like a hundred or so of them decided to run wide and I mean Wide Just as I said to a new novice marshal these are fun --DUCK!!

[Rich D]

Heard on com during a Bike Race "Control, this is Corner 10. I have really bad wind here, and it's blowing over my hay bales."

[Asp]

Originally Posted by snetmarshal

A certain "Asp" came up with a clasic comment at the night practice for the 2Cv's today, but has banned me putting his quote on here, so I will allow him to when he is next online....... all I will say is such topics should be kept private!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I might not quite use the quote, but I might just say that I was drawing reference to the fact there were two cars with number 69 in a practice session in the morning. I'll let you figure out what I exactly said

I always find that people struggle in finding a more suitable word in how to go and cover a marshal as a 'relief'. Thank you for Andy for not mentioning my offer to send someone to relieve you a bit ago, but now I've insulted myself enough I'll point out that a certain Chief Marshal / Chief Observer at the 2CVs this weekend said that he'd be going round spending most of the evening relieving marshals..

[Guisbro Rod H]

As background I must explain the excellent Irish marshalling system. At Mondello Park the Irish marshalling system is that the post is led and run by an Incident Officer. The “Observer Role” is fulfilled by "Driving Standards Observers" who can move round the track and are not fixed to one post.

Being new to the Irish system and no Driving Standards Observer in sight I called control:

"Control from Delta 23" "Go ahead Delta 23"
"A car No XX has demolished the marker post and cut the corner"
"Delta 23. That information will be given by Driving Standards Observer"
"Control from Delta 23" "We have no Driving Standards Observer in sight so I wished to report the actions of the lady racing driver”
“Delta 23 from Control” Long pause ”We have a lot of lady marshals at Mondello, I wouldn’t be criticising lady drivers because they’ll be hearing you on the radio”
So I then foolishly (stupidly?) replied “Oh such comments will keep the lady marshals awake”

That should have been the end of it. But an UNKNOWN Irish male marshal added the comment over the RADIO:

“THE ONLY TIME THAT YOU SHOULD WAKE A LADY MARSHALL IS IN THE MORNING TO SAY THANK YOU !!!

I nearly died from embarrassment. The ground should have opened up to allow me to hide.

I don’t know what happened to the to that Unknown Irish male Marshal; but think of a fate worse than death. The first 2 visiting English marshals were grabbed by a hoard of rightly indignant Lady Marshals in the paddock at the end of the meeting, we haven’t a radio was their response “We couldn’t have started that radio message” wasn't us. The next English marshal to appear was pinned to the Scrutineer’s wall with his radio, he only escaped when he proved he wasn’t Delta 23. I won’t say what happened to me.

The moral of story is that it is that I highly recommend the experience of working the Irish system of marshalling at Mondello Park with the highly competent and charming Irish marshals of both genders.

[Andrew Palmer]

How about this one from a Marshal just awaking up after a lunch time snooze:

"If I see photographs of me asleep on Ten-Tenths, I know who to blame"

[Andrew Palmer]

This one was heard on Sunday at Cadwell over the radio.

“Control to start-line, don’t show the oil flag until they start to go off”

[Guisbro Rod H]

European Rallycross at Mondello Park. Prior to the circuit modifications imposed by the visiting British Touring Car Round there was a tremendous corner just prior to the main straight. Marshal post was toes an the third layer of Armco that was back filled with soil and topped with grass

750 BHP in a 4 wheel slide less than 2 feet from our toes - proper Rallycross, not namby-pamby 300 bhp WRC rally cars.

We had had a good day and a really enjoyable night before (nothing improper) that was so enjoyable, but it was late finish and very tiring. Red Flag called and track watering - a pause in the proceedings.

Lady marshal lies down next to her flags, warm, comfortable and tired from the tiring, but honourable, night before she drops off to sleep. She must have been dreaming of Rallycross cars because they had actually started the next heat. Trapper and I quietly picked up the flags and hid them the sight of the drivers and flag-lady. As in excess of 3000 bhp came barking into the corner her dream became so realistic she awoke and grabbed for the non existent flags. 3000 bhp plus six feet away is the best alarm clock ever!

The famous and memorable sayings that followed were out of character for this charming young lady and would present a problem in replicating them here. Lets say 'Where are my flags' included some reference to them being covered on blood. Trapper and I ensured that the event / heat was properly covered for flags. However, when she discovered it was us who failed to wake her and had moved the flags; all I can say is that I am glad she wasn't able to do with her flags what she verbally threatened - it would be most painful to my anatomy. I wish my parents were alive so that I could have determined if her aspersions to mine and Trapper's parenthood were correct.

Who was the lady in question you ask? That I would never divulge and you would never guess.

Rod H

[gravel_monkey]

oulton park on saturday back in pits at the end of the day when everyone was grabbing a well deserved beer one lady marshall was heard saying
" i seen a very nice driver, on his slow down lap he came round the corner and flashed at me instead of waving!"

well, he made her day!!!