Fantasy Champ Car Standings: Chicago

[Liz]

Team Standings at Chicago:

1. Team Cheviot 54
2. Hesketh Racing 50
3. Team Canada 34
-- Team Wrex 34
-- Team Champ Cars UK 34
4. Team Sandbag 33
5. DontCrashPaul 31
-- R Racing 31
6. Team Penske Babe 29
7. Chris Larsen Racing 27
-- The Skidmarks 27
--Team Twinkle 27
-- Karma Racing 27
-- Nordstrom Racing 27
-- Revcounter Racing 27
-- Team Domaza 27
-- JADS Racing 27
8. Miracle Racing 26
9. Tulip Racing Champ Cars 23
--Team Super Owls 23
10. Team Dangerous 22
11. Gonk Racing (US) Inc. 21
12. Team Studley Do-Right 19
13. Team Crunch 17
-- Twisted Steel Racing 17
14. Jayspeed 14
15. Wescan (Can) Racing Ltd. 11
-- Team Aggression Maximisation 11
-- Team Motorpsycho Nightmare 11
16. Team Gonads 10
-- Euro-Atlantic Racing 10
17. Last Minute Racing 9
18. Maple City Racing 6
19. EMS Racing 4
-- Team DUI 4
-- Team Alphasports 4
-- Team Lost Cause 4
-- Team Dubya 4
-- Project Thirty Four 4
-- Team Howards Way 4
20. Team Hoffspeed 2
21. Team Xenomorphic 0
-- Maybe Never Racing 0

NOTE: Pole Position was Tony Kanaan, but he's not on a team so no points. Fastest lap was Kenny Brack.

Mikey was a non-person this race and was only mentioned 5 times. Memo was mentioned 8 times. There were 63 interruptions.

===============

Standings at the Halfway Point:

1. Team Cheviot 330
2. Team Sandbag 307
3. Hesketh Racing 303
4. Team Wrex 269
5. Team Squabble 266
6. Team Dubya 260
7. The Skidmarks 259
8. Maybe Never Racing 258
9. Team DUI 254
10. Project Thirty-Four 253
11. Team Super Owls 252
-- DontCrashPaul 252
12. EMS Racing 251
13. Team Twinkle 239
-- Team Penske Babe 239
-- Karma Racing 239
14. Team Domaza 233
15. Tulip Racing Champ Cars 228
16. Revcounter Racing 226
-- R Racing 226
17. Team Dangerous 225
18. JADS Racing 220
19. Team Motorpsycho Nightmare 215
20. Team Aggression Maximisation 210
-- Jayspeed 210
-- Chris Larsen Racing 210
21. Nordstrom Racing 204
22. Team Lost Cause 201
23. Team Gonads 194
24. Team Howard's Way 190
25. Team Hoffspeed 188
-- Last Minute Racing 188
26. Team Crunch 187
27. Twisted Steel Racing 186
28. Team Xenomorphic 180
29. Wescan (Can) Racing Ltd. 173
30. Team Canada 172
31. Miracle Racing 160
32. Euro-Atlantic Racing 158
33. Gonk Racing (US) Inc. 154
34. Team Champ Cars UK 143
35. Team Studley Do-Right 141
36. Team Alphasports 84
37. Maple City Racing 38

Spreadsheets upon request.

[bella]

TEAM DANGEROUS PRESS RELEASE.

team boss bella has given her boys a toasting for not having an exciting race.

17th is not good enough. we will look into what we can do to improve.

bella
all round good guy and boss
team dangerous.
'the more boring the races, the worse our press releases get'

[elephino]

Hesketh Racing

An excellent showing at Chicago (told ya we'd do better there). Shame Cheviot are getting away, but almost back to second. Roll on the next round.

Heinz-Harald Frentzen
Press Officer

[Laagri]

JADS Racing Press Release

Driver comments:
Kenny Bräck: Great! I wish there were only three races left this season: Lausitzring, Rockingham and Fontana.
Dario Franchitti: Frustrating! I wish we could forget these silly wee ovals and that there were only three races left: Mid-Ohio, Elkhart Lake and Vancouver.
Alex Zanardi: Promising, but I was Jourdained! I wish there were only three races left: Laguna Seca 96, Cleveland 97 and Long Beach 98.

Romano Prodi
Press Officer
JADS Racing
Officially sponsored by the European Union

[Jay]

Team Crunch has sent it's too drivers (Paul Tracy and Helio Castro-Neves) on a bungy jumping excursion to rock some sense into them!

If changes are not made they will make the same trip, but without bungee cords.

[Liz]

Team Mrs. Fields Pies Penske Babe Press Release

After soundly thrashing his car last weekend, Gil de Ferran convinced it to drag him home in 3rd this week or else. He says he would have finished higher but he got dizzy driving in circles.

Bruno Junqueria is now in the garage kicking HIS car to bits.

Meanwhile Helio was last seen headed toward the Team Rahal pits with the expressed opinion of having a "frank exchange of views" with Max Papis. The first aid squad is standing by while the boys settle their differences.

We look forward to getting off the oval races and to finding some way for two out of the three of us to have a decent race at the same time.

Pedro "El Guapo" Morales
Press Officer

We Ate All The Pies!

[Airhead]

Press Release: TAM

In the windy city the smell of failure has hung around the team like an all pervasive presence. Their seems no escape from it's death grip.

From the high hopes in Mexico to Michael's win a month ago. The team has endured the perversity of strange training regimes centred around the denial of basic bodily functions in a aim to focus the base instincts of the drivers. The drivers were chosen for their natural abundence of base instincts. Yet even their genetic makeup has let them down.

It may be time to exercise the final clause in each drivers 'contract'. Call in Harvey Keitel, we got some wet work needs doing.

Hunter S