'Twas the night before Christmas (Marshal Style!)

[jase]

Ok, I know it's only the 5th, but thought I'd try and get in the mood by posting this:


'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house
not a keyboard was stirring, no clicking of the mouse
The probans were hung up or stuffed into bags
Gathering dust til next season, along with the flags

The marshals were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of incidents danced in their heads
The rescue unit pixies had hung up their hoods
And all settled down for a long winter snooze

When out in the garden there arose such a clatter
The Pumpkins sprang from their beds to see what was the matter
Away to the window they ran like a flash
Tore open the curtains to look at the crash

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Reflected off the debris that was strewn out below
Rolled over on the pavement well what should appear
But an overturned sleigh and some panicked reindeer

The driver was stuck, shouting "get me out quick!"
They knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
The rescue call went out - and extinguishers in hand
Marshals quickly arrived from every land

There were marshals from Britain, there were marshals from Spain
There were marshals from Ireland - from around the world they came
There were doctors in red and rescue crews in green
(The marshals in black could just barely be seen)

"oh free me" cried Santa "Oh free me I beg!
I think one of the reindeer just peed on my leg"
The Rescue Crews assessed and looked round and about
"it's a spinal extraction - we're cutting him out!"

"oh no no" moaned Santa "you'll damage my sleigh!
I must deliver presents - just free me, I pray"
"sorry santa" said Rescue "your safety comes first"
And fired up the Holmatro whilst Santa just cursed

Ok here's the problem, the IOs all said
We've got all of these children tucked up in their beds
Secure in the knowledge that their presents will arrive
And this *$$%£$% sleigh is just not fit to drive

Then one hefty marshal got a bright idea
"we can take them ourselves - we have eight reindeer.
we can ride them ourselves, with the pressies in a sack"
And he promptly climbed up upon poor Blitzen's back

When Rudolph saw this, he ran off at high speed
A big dent in his back he really DID not need
The Irish marshals gave chase as he charged up the hill
(chasing deer is a little known Irish marshalling skill)

Well Rudolph was harnessed, as were Donner and co.
The marshals mounted up and were ready to go
With toy sacks in hand, the starting flag unfurled
And signalled their race to bring presents to the world

Meanwhile, poor old Santa had finally been extracted
And was apologising for having overreacted
The docs passed him fit, although he had a bruised butt
"never mind" said the crew chief "here you are, have a donut"

The marshals were gathered, whispering in hushed tones
When the quiet was broken by the ring of a phone
"We've done it" they said "so give us three cheers -
And tell the fat red guy to get in the beers"

After much bodging repair, Santa was off on his way
With duct tape trailing from the dents in his sleigh
The marshals went home and got back to their dreaming
Carrying their last sight of Santa waving and beaming

When all had gone home, a faint jingling was heard
It was Santa again - but he spoke not a word
At each marshal home he dropped off a present
"good weather for one day at your choice of event"

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But you could hear him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"