We Just Want To Go Fast !!!

[Dr. Austin]

This is a spoof. You have been warned. But I would like all of you to read the following and tell me what you think of it. What am I saying? What does it all mean? Only one rule, please leave CART vrs IRL out of it because it has nothing to do with that. Have a good time with it and tell me what it means to you. I will post what it means to me in a couple of days. And that part is the punch line. Please have fun with this.
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We all know that we can never go back to the good old days. Most of the time I think this is a damn good thing. And sometimes I think the romance is just gone. I remember when auto racing was an ADVENTURE!!! Sure, it was more than a little dangerous, but we didn't know any better. Hell, we didn't care anyway. WE JUST WANTED TO GO FAST!!! But would any of us want to go back in time and race, for real, in a roadster? For those with an IQ above 85, the answer is "no." But back then the talk was "Hell, these cars are plenty strong. We lost three guys in this one just today, but as soon as we get the fire put out, we'll flip her back over on her wheels and plug in another monkey." And if you watch the OLD films, you'll see this guy barrelling through turn one, smokin' a fat stogie with the riding mechanic sprawled out on the hood, beating out the flames with his underwear. It was stupidly dangerous, but so what? THEY JUST WANTED TO GO FAST!!!

But I was there the day Sneva broke the 200 barrier at the speedway. The entire place was engulfed with such an unbelievable buzz that the very earth under our feet trembled. There was no doubt that we were part of something special, an epic adventure. Yet none of us was sure that day what was next. Would the earth spin out of orbit and crash into the sun, or would that day come when the 300 barrier would fall? We had never been this far before and there was no turning back. Except it couldn't go on forever because there is a limit. The human being has limited potential. Or so we thought.

Even with sweeping new restrictions thrown at the teams nearly every year, the human spirit has prevailed and we have seen the other side of 240mph. Just where IS the limit. Sadly, we may never know. In such a paranoid and litigious society there will always be a cry for a return to sanity. But where is the achievement and where is the adventure? Left to his own device, man will always strive to transcend the next , and then the next barrier . It is our very nature to go further, higher and faster than ever before. Don't all your hearts pound just to see those words? If this is untrue, why does the chill run down our spines when we hear "And........It's a new track record!!!"

All of us loved the original CanAm. It produced cars we still lust after today. If it was so great then, why not bring the concept back? One race, no rules. No limits. No spectators, just PPV $19.95.

Of course every safety advantage we have will be pressed into use. We don't want a bunch of dead monkeys hanging around. WE JUST WANT TO GO FAST!!! Ten million to win. Unlimited prestige. Maximum macho points. No little girls.

Now, don't think the guys won't line up around the block to get in on this one. They must all be adults so all of this is THEIR decision. We aren't interested in what the lawyers have to say. Get out of the way. WE JUST WANT TO GO FAST!!!

Imagine the technological advances we would see. Imagine the heroism. Imagine at long last the pure unbridled speed. Sure, someone would figure it out first and blow everybody off, just like the CanAm. But we aren't looking for mediocrity here, WE JUST WANT TO GO FAST!!!

But now that I have sucked everybody in, it is time to come home to earth. Only in a eutopian world would it not turn into "Death race 2001." The value of human life would precule this from ever happening. But come on. Ease up just a little bit. WE JUST WANT TO GO FAST!!!

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Ok. Now let's see who has a sense of humor. I'm counting on you guys.

[Emfa]

No one here has a sense of humour. We all take our racing too seriously. We have to; we are under attack and we don't have time to be nostalgic or philosophical. All that matters is to GO FASTER, and to GET THERE FIRST.

I've only suited up and strapped in once, but that was enough to know that GOING FAST is something special. But the memories don't stop there. Like the first time that I felt 43 cars round turn 2 at Dover Downs and thunder down the back straight. Or standing at the end of Brabham straight at Adelaide and watching the cars come into the braking zone with rotors glowing. And standing at the bottom of Mount Panorama when the green flag dropped, seeing 60 cars light up and then thunder up mountain straight.

But how do you explain this to someone who hasn't been there? When they call it a pointless waste of time and can't see the challenge, the thrill, the striving to conquer a new challenge? Some people don't get it and want to regulate, sanitize and castrate these endeavours to go further, higher and FASTER. They call it a blood-sport. So we rail against them and against the organizers and officials of these contests. We fuss at each other; we spend more and more of our hard earned cash to get involved, or at least get as close to the action as we can.

So, we have lost our sense of humour.

At least we have our memories. And the camaraderie. See you at the track!

[Dr. Austin]

:Pretty good, Efma, pretty good. But not what I am trying to get out of you guys. Come on, use your imagination and give me a collossal rant. Give me some comedy because there is plenty of room for that here. GIVE it to me, baby!

[Liz]

The whole point of racing is to go fast. To go faster than the other guy, to outdrag him and outbrake him and leave him looking stupid and standing at the start line holding the gas can and wondering where the cars went ... and meeting him at the bar after the race to replay it all again and laugh loudly at the way he suckered you and the way you suckered him.

There was no secret backstabbing and handbaggery and hiding behind your PR girl in the pitlane, and nobody needed a script to tell him what he thought, and seeing a couple of guys toe to toe with their fists clenched was not a signal to call in the anger-management therapists and the lawyers.

It was easy to tell the boys from the girls, because there weren't any girls. Girls in the pitlane were bad luck, even if they owned the team.

But the main reason to get into a race car - the only reason for the existence of a racing car -- was to go fast. For the driver to make it go faster than all the other cars, even if he went upside down and hit a wall just as he crossed the line.

Of course, those were the days when hockey players didn't sit out 10 games with a hangnail or bag an entire season because they couldn't live on $7 million a year, and when nobody asked a truck mechanic to get in touch with his feminine side and lived to tell the tale.

Those were the days when men were men and cars were cars, and life was dangerous and everybody knew it and nobody thought anything about it.

Those were the days.

[winstonhenry]

And when you crashed you were trapped underneath a mass of twisted aluminium and soaked in petrol, which was quickly ablaze. When you were finally removed you were crammed into a small ambulance and taken to a hospital several miles away. Not that this mattered because you were already dead. Those were indeed the days!

[Dr. Austin]

Excellent, Liz!!! Still, not quite what i am after, but getting closer and certainly entertaining. Very good piece. You must be some kind of writer. Nice work. We are going to be buddies.

Still, use your imagination and see where you can go.....

[Liz]

Winstonhenry, nobody lived to be old in those days and you didn't expect Nanny to make the whole world safe for you so you'd live to be 150 years old, still whining and crying and afraid to eat, drink, wear or own anything in case it might cause cancer. People were dying of cholera and diptheria in my neighbourhood until I was 15 and everybody stayed home in the summer for fear of polio, and to us that was just the way it was.

And besides that we'd just fought two world wars, and if the guys lived through that, they generally found what else they faced to be pretty small potatoes ...

[Dr. Austin]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Liz


"People were dying of cholera and diptheria"

Alot better to go out fast in a real blaze of glory in front of 200,00 cheering speed freaks, don't you think?

[paulzinho]

I'm guessing theres an Indy racing connection...

[Dr. Austin]

Originally posted by paulzinho
I'm guessing theres an Indy racing connection...

Of course there is, but not nesessarily. This is to see what kind of imagination you guys have. It was designed to mean so many things that this means what ever you get out of it, and I have seen you write some pretty good stuff, so take a swing at it and have some fun.

[The Beer Baron]

Austin,

Brock Yates put a proposal to people for ideas on the ultimate racecar:

Here are some replies:
scroll down for the ideas, near the end,

Ratliff, use a Williams Jet engine
Kellner's idea to lap Indy at 300mph, not for sissies

Whatever happened to kellner and Franklin Ratliff?

http://www.speedvision.com/pub/artic...s/000328a.html

[Liz]

Franklin made himself so tiresome that someone here actually designed a T-shirt advising him not to "be such a drag" ... eventually he went away... The last time he was sighted here was when he tried to convince us that A.J. Foyt had gone over 300 mph at Indianapolis in 1985.

Since Champ Cars are the fastest cars on Earth, I think Texas proved this year that the only way to make the cars faster is to get rid of the drivers. Of course, Formula One is working on that, aren't they, with their remote control cars?

[Airhead]

I've thought long and hard on this?

I have the drivers. Michael Andretti and Paul "the pupeteer" Tracey. I have the team. (Team Aggression Maximisation).

I need the vehicle. In the motive and the media sense.

So, I propose, a Keith Black 7 litre Big Block. No Turbo bullshytte. Open wheeler. Big three foot slicks. No downforce and racing on everything as CART do now.

Ladies start your engines!

[Champ69]

Nice work, keep it up and keep posting.

I do belive that all race drivers want to go fast but even more so they want to win. Maybee your next topic "I just want to win"

[Liz]

No, "I just want to win" gives you TGF with his affirmative action contract and Dale Earnhardt Jr. with his illegal car(s), and Kenny Brack ramming 4 guys off the track in one race and getting no penalty because all four collisions are deemed "racing incidents" ... when you make winning the be-all and end-all, you get widespread cheating and nothing else.

I think racing is more than winning.

[Champ69]

Four points

1. You cannot win if you are disqualified.

2. In my view in racing you have to push to the limits of the machine, the rules and yourself that’s what it takes to be the best.

3. Anyone can go fast, all you have to do in press your foot down on the accelerator. What you want to be is quick, that’s the challenge.

4. A quote:
“To do something well is so worthwhile that to die to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It would be a waste of life to do nothing with one’s ability, for I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone.”

[Liz]

1. True, you cannot win if you are disqualified. If you are TGF, Dale Earnhardt Jr. or Michael Andretti, you cannot be disqualified. (This is called the "But I Am Senna" pass.)

2. Yes, going faster than the car can go and too fast for the track is the way to find out where the limits are. See Gilles Villeneuve. This is also the reason that Gil de Ferran has at least twice put the car on pole followed immediately by upside down against the wall.

3. You can be as quick as you like, but if the other guy is faster, AND if he's got the Senna pass, he "wins". You will win the moral victory and people will say you "should have won" the race. But the fast cheat will get the trophy over the quick artist, especially if the cheat is better looking.

3(A). Most fast cheats have fathers who were quick gentlemen. Whether these two things are related is an interesting question.

4. It's no use being a racing driver if you have not already come to terms with the fact that you're going to be killed before you get a chance to retire. Once you have accepted this thought, you can win by terrifying the guys who have not. (See Senna.)

[Champ69]

Liz you are going off topic now, and do not like your accusations of cheating or your points in general. I assume you are spoofing, so if you are good work. If not take a good look at yourself.

Dr Austin I know the person you are talking about is not Jackie Stewart, but could be Jean Alesi as he is a man that loves going fast, a pity they do not give more screen time to him when he was racing.

Alesi in Carts I would love that

[Liz]

Yes of course I am continuing in the same spirit as the topic. But if you like to think racing is honest, be happy in your naivte.

Winning is not everything.

[Champ69]

ok then

[paulzinho]

Some people race to win, they race to be the best, being the best, the fastest, the quickest is their motivation and they should know that their are risks asscociated with being the best, fastest, quickest. These people always look to go faster, faster than the car is capable of going. The are always looking to go quicker, quicker than the car is capable of going. Their determination to succeed can only be prevented sadly by death.

For all the above, SEE SENNA.

[R]

Good one, Paulzinho.

Originally posted by Champ69
A quote:
“To do something well is so worthwhile that to die to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It would be a waste of life to do nothing with one’s ability, for I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone.”

If my memory serves me correctly, Bruce McLaren was the one who said this. Am I right?

[paulzinho]

Thank you R!!

[Champ69]

R, you know your stuff.

It was Bruce McLaren that I got the quote from.

[Dr. Austin]

Come on, we are getting close to the punch line. Use your imagination and get wild with this thing. NO RULES. 33 cars, wheel to wheel. 10 million. unlimited prestigue. Maximum macho points. Come on, how far can you take it? Answer Friday, 9pm.