Comic Relief: 10 Things We Should Have Heard in the Post Race Press Conf. Sunday

[Liz]

The Top Ten Things We Should Have Heard on Sunday:

10. "I would like to point out that my car was actually being steered from the pit wall today, so in point of fact it was Jean Todt who passed Rubens in the last five feet of that race."

9. "My mother said I have to apologize to all the people who bet on my teammate today and pay off the bets, or I'll have to drive the next race standing up."

8. "That wasn't me on the podium today. Ferrari pays several guys to impersonate me when I have done something to shame the sport, and to take my punishment. In fact I did nothing to dishonour F1 today. I wasn't even here at the time."

7. "Since nobody in the pitlane will speak to me any more and my wife has locked me out of the house, does anyone have a spare bedroom I can use until I can find a hotel room?"

6. "To my daughter if she's watching, those people were booing daddy because they are jealous of his good looks."

5. "I would like to apologize to my teammate for whatever happened today. There's really not such a thing as the Brazilian Mafia, is there?"

4. "I will be answering all your e-mails and letters personally. My mother told me it was my duty."

3. "The team have asked you to please confine all bonfires of Ferrari merchandise to the area directly in front of the podium, and to wait until the fire crews are in place."

2. "Incidentally, none of those effigies look the least bit like me."

and finally:

1. "Having read the dictionary definition now, I am returning the awards I was given for "sportsmanship" this week so that they can be given to someone who is actually a sportsman."

[ljakse]

P.S. I guess you've predicted something like this by your signature.

[Liz]

I predicted it in 1999.

You have to laugh at it all eventually -- not only is he not the Greatest Driver Who Ever Lived, he's not even the best fraud.

[calais]

he deserves an academy award for his podium and press conference performance!!!

[f1manoz]

Like usual Liz, you deliver the goods

[Lee Janotta]

ROTFLMAO! Fantastic Liz!

[Andrew2001]

lol, well said Liz. Very entertaining stuff there. Like your signature by the way.

He is the greatest F1 driver that ever lived, in my personal view: Ayrton Senna.

[StuiE]

ah, Liz always with the good stuff

[facco]

Thumbs up, Liz

[Nicholas]

Thanks very much for that, Liz

[freud]

"I would like to point out that my car was actually being steered from the pit wall today, so in point of fact it was Jean Todt who passed Rubens in the last five feet of that race."

Brilliant Liz!!

[ozrevhead]

Originally posted by Liz
The Top Ten Things We Should Have Heard on Sunday:

7. "Since nobody in the pitlane will speak to me any more and my wife has locked me out of the house, does anyone have a spare bedroom I can use until I can find a hotel room?"

5. "I would like to apologize to my teammate for whatever happened today. There's really not such a thing as the Brazilian Mafia, is there?"

3. "The team have asked you to please confine all bonfires of Ferrari merchandise to the area directly in front of the podium, and to wait until the fire crews are in place."

luv those one, especially no five liz!

[billiaml]

I think I'm gonna like it here!

[olimac]

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed all the way to the bank.
Cordially
Michael Schumacher
No just kidding, great material Liz, luved it and hope to read more from you in the future. I am new to 10tenths

[Emfa]

Welcome olimac and billiaml!
I think you'll enjoy yourselves here - it's a fun place (on the whole).

Liz, aka Mom, is quite prolific (as I'm sure you noticed) and always provides some good reading!

[Liz]

Thanks guys -- I was having a chat with the Mole the other night and thought these up to answer some that Moley thought up.

I'm about to go off to the Trans Am for the weekend though so you lot are on your own over here in F1 land.

Welcome to new members and do keep the conversation going -- we like a good debate around here.