You know you're obsessed with F1 when..

[Born Racer]

Just a bit of fun, mostly nicked from elsewhere. I've added some of my own.

You know you’re obsessed with Formula 1 when:

• You can explain the Lotus naming dispute and make sense of it.

• You take the racing line under any circumstances, such as walking up a staircase.

• You stop in front of the house and expect the mechanics to push you into the garage.

• Your girlfriend says she is going to the spa, and the first thing that pops into your mind is her sitting in a McLaren and flooring it through Eau Rouge.

• After winning a game of tennis, the Vettel index finger is now a part of your celebration.

• A simple trip karting becomes more and more like an onboard lap of Senna at Monaco every time you remember it.

• You make massive amounts of pointless spreadsheets to store stats that are readily accessible on the internet.

• Halfway on your walk to work, you stop and change your shoes.

• An old man is stuck at 40mph and you can't pass him, so you start shouting "I.. am.. faster.. than.. you!”.

• You try to replicate a real-life situation on an F1 video game.

• You talk through laps on F1 2010 like you're Martin Brundle explaining it to the world.

• You describe your underwear colour as 'British Racing Green'.

• You nicknamed your dad's BMW 'Robert'.

• You know that rallying driving style is better for a shopping trolley than Formula 1 driving style.

• You hear ‘Red Bull’ and the first thing that comes to your mind is the racing team, not the energy drink brand.

• You joke about deploying DRS when trying to overtake on the dual carriageway.

• You actually forget that you don’t have DRS when trying to overtake.

• Whilst cycling in the rain, you put a flashing rear light on "Because that’s what they do in F1".

• You reach a petrol station, and hope to be out of there within 9 seconds, and hopefully without a fuel nozzle jammed into your car.

• You are walking behind someone, you wait until the last millisecond to cut either to the left, or the right, and then try to overtake them.

• You watch old YouTube clips of F1 and you know exactly what Murray Walker is going to say and how he says it.

• A friend starts discussing where they want to go on holiday and you start prattling on about the tracks the country has.

• On a night out, when you're asked if you want another glass of wine you start rambling on about Jarno Trulli.

• While drinking champagne, you are sometimes tempted to either spray it out on everyone, or at least pour it out over the friends next to you.

• You slip over, and immediately blame Charlie Whiting for starting the day in these conditions.

• You use F1 situations as metaphors. In my not-so-wise moments, when a friend has needed advice I have compared it to Suzuka 1990, Senna VS Prost.

• It rains and you step in puddles to cool down your shoes.

• Your dad gets a haircut, and the first thing you say is "You look like Christian Horner”.

• Your knowledge of foreign languages is heavily based on various corner names from around the world.

• Any time you hear other people talking about F1 and getting their facts wrong you get consumed by an intolerable rage.

• You were used as entertainment by your parents when you were young by having to recite all the world champions in order during dinner parties.

• A guy tells you he’s a Schumi fan and that he started watching during the Ferrari years and you think he’s an F1 rookie.

• You hear the German national anthem and you instinctively expect the Italian one to follow.

• 90% of your conversations with your dad are about F1.

• You wake up at 3.30am to watch Australian GP practice.

• Your preferred choice of words for ‘definitely’ or ‘probably’ are ‘for sure’.

• Before a race weekend, you get on the nearest F1 game and drive some laps to get into the swing of things.

• After qualifying, you get on an F1 game again to show Vettel how it's done.

• You take the racing line for walking and get annoyed when somebody gets in the way, so much so that you consider reporting them to the FIA.

• If you miss anything, even a few minutes of the BBC Forum or The Chain, you are unhappy.

• You slightly drive over one of those rumble strips on the motorway and the sound it makes reminds you of a kerb in a Formula 1 onboard shot.

• You get stuck in fairly slow traffic and impersonate a member of your team telling you to go into fuel-saving mode “Okay <insert your name>, we need to go into fuel-saving mode. Mix 5, Mix 5”.

[Born Racer]

So how many of these apply to you?

I counted 27 out of 42.

[fourWheelDrift]

Originally Posted by Born Racer

So how many of these apply to you?

I counted 27 out of 42.

Only 15. Obviously I'm not sufficiently obsessed yet. Working on it though.

[Bononi]

Er... some of those are embarassing familiar...

[Born Racer]

Please feel free to add your own.

Another that occurred to me after a bath just now:

• You put both hands on either side of the bath to pull yourself out of it and are reminded of an F1 driver exiting the cockpit.

[ChrisPage]

You know you are obsessed when:

• You treat a traffic bottle neck as time behind the safety car (only mentally on the road kids, no speeding now!)
• You hear 'The Chain' start in your head when you put the pound in to release your trolley (now speed is compulsary, you must beat your fastest lap round Morrisons!)
• You think the phrase 'for sure' is ok, but 'pushing on' is not.
• The logo/name Zepter is amongst your most recognised - but you still don't know what they do

I should sstop there for now!

[Adam43]

Originally Posted by fourWheelDrift

Only 15. Obviously I'm not sufficiently obsessed yet. Working on it though.

it would be odd if there was no overlap of the 15 and 27. Then between you we'd have some superfan.

[GolddustMini]

who doesnt take the racing line up stairways? i even do a hamilton if im going up a stairway side by side and turn in without checking my mirrors!

[chunder]

I ran away and tried to delete the fact this ever appeared on my computer! Deary me

[dyewat808]

Originally Posted by GolddustMini

who doesnt take the racing line up stairways? i even do a hamilton if im going up a stairway side by side and turn in without checking my mirrors!

I'll hold my hand up to doing that

[Born Racer]

I suppose a logical one is when you use a forum about it.

[djinvicta]

No, the logical one is when you read every bloody line of the post

[TrapezeArtist]

20/42.

[Down F0rce]

When stopped at traffic lights, you think to yourself: "Look... but never stare".

[Marbot]

Sometimes I use the 'heel-and-toe' method of typing. Does that count?

My car has a 'flappy-paddle' gear change, and sometimes..................oh this is so sad!

[Born Racer]

Giving your girlfriend a lift to work, you ask her to impersonate your calm race engineer saying "Understood. We're looking into it" etc, because you find race engineer delivery funny, and in order to give you an opportunity to answer back on the fictional radio and generally pretend you're in a Grand Prix.

Now where did I leave my coat?

(I've only done that once- it was today!)

[JeremySmith]

When you can watch a wing flap open and close and pretend it's racing your watching..

[Oran Park Forever]

When you live/drive in the city of Adelaide & still refer to the streets by their 'racing' name........Every time I sit at the lights of Jones & Brabham Straights, I picture an endless stream of 80s/90s F1 cars taking Brewery Bend at 180kph+..........in 4th gear.......(oh dear).
I also occasionally think of Mika & think how lucky he is to be alive!


.

[stripedcat]

You refer to traffic islands as chicanes.

You talk about picking up the slipstream to overtake on the motorway. It is not! It is called 'tailgating'!

[Razzzor]

You commentate yourself - both to live F1 and everyday while you're slipstreaming traffic.

You spend long amounts of time explaining and teaching F1 to people who aren't remotely interested, especially you're partner. And she knows just to shut up and listen until the speech/teaching/rant is over.

You refer to public roads as 'the track', and regular routes are 'laps'.

[Chatters]

• You consider your car to be 10-15 horsepower down on the Mercedes in the lane next to you, and blame that as they reason they sped past you.

• You hit the inside kerb of a roundabout and describe it as "clipping the apex".

• You talk to anyone who will listen about how much extra downforce the spoiler on the rear of your car produces.

• You describe shifting your car down a gear to pass someone as "hitting the overtake button".

• You put your alarmingly high fuel economy down to "being in Engine Mode 3".

• You remain stopped at a set of lights, even if they're green, because you're waiting for them to go blank.

• You hit the indicator and wiper wands behind your steering wheel when you intend to change gear.

• You drive through a well-lit neighbourhood with your lights off to experience the thrill of driving on the Singapore street track.

[Carsandmotorracing]

Wow to many, especially the one about getting angrry when someone gets knowlege about motorsports in general wrong. LOL.

[nea]

A depressing 29/42 of there. Eugh, I need to get out more.

[bella]

Originally Posted by Razzzor

You refer to public roads as 'the track', and regular routes are 'laps'.

i can confirm i am a regular participant in the m25-bluewater time trial...

[boyracer019]

There are moments when forum's like this one confirm your sanity - I am not alone in doing these things, so it must be okay!!



Always taking the racing line is one thing. Being followed by a work collegue while on the way in one morning and have it commented on when we both get there is another.