(In)famous marshals sayings thread

[KennyG]

I will allow him to come here and own up himself. Oulton Park a few weeks ago, a certain marshal offered me his e-mail address and commented - "It's so cold I can't spell".

At Croft, a marshal referring to a driver with a chunk of loose bodywork who was one of a pack of four cars said "It's the middle one of the four".

Any better?

[Dan Friel]

"It's been a quiet day hasn't it" - I've said that more than once before the inevitable happens...

[schrammy]

Originally Posted by Dan Friel

"It's been a quiet day hasn't it" - I've said that more than once before the inevitable happens...

Been there, done that. On post 4 at Mallory, some bright spark (my brother in law) pipes up, "quiet is'nt it". He had'nt finished speaking before we had three mini's trying to demolish the tyre wall! Mind you, he's now learned to keep his mouth in neutral!

[Mark Mitchell]

(Radio controller to Safety Car)
"Safety car, Safety Car, you may now stand down, and thankyou for your invaluable assistance during the race".

The race in question didn't have the provisions of the Safety Car!!


(Me, on the phone to race control last weekend)
"Hello, I've just noticed that car number 35 has no number!"

[Sheila M]

I can't remember saying anything that would go down in the history of motorsport as being an (in)famous saying but I'm sure there are people on here with better memories than mine who will no doubt relate something that I've said!

[rescue dude]

I remember being in a rescue unit on the way to Cadwell with two other regular ten-tenth,s members, when one, while looking out the window at the freshly ploughed field,s said "Isn,t the dirt dirty round here".
At which point myself and my colleague almost wet ourselves.
It's alright Gizmo i won't grass you up.

[jase]

How about: "We've been lucky today, no Red Flags......"

Cue a Red Flag in every race following that statement

[b1ackcr0w]

Colleague's comment after spotting car clipping the grass at Quarry at Combe -
"Keep off the Grass"

Colleague's increasingly unoriginal comment following each car which clipped the grass throughout the morning session -
"Keep off the grass"

Near the end of the morning session, a car has a massive rolling shunt in the next sector after clipping the grass and unbalancing the car in our sector. After the dust had settled and everything went quiet, my colleague sighed and quietly commented -

"I told 'em to keep off the grass".

[MagnetON]

While discussing grading cards, the person I was with said... "Oh, I just need another incident signature to get my incident grade, an incident like..... THAT ONE!" as a Formula Ford decided to park itself on top of the tyrewall.

He got his signature and his grade

"Prepare for Kart-a-geddon!" Just as the field of karts come around for the start and sure enough five way "explosion" of karts with two that were later transported to hospital (they were fine)

"Magnet ON!" Said before most of my good incidents in my "magnet" season of 2000/2001

[G Tanner]

Me at Pembrey last week waving off the last race on Sat (VSR's/Silhouttes) on their Green Flag Flag and then putting away the Green Flag and saying, we won't need that again today. This was promptly followed by 2 Red Flag stoppages.

doh........

[MagnetON]

Then there's always "Let's close down the medical center".......

[Bryan Degerlund]

Nurburgring 24-hr, this year, at post 142 (entrance to Karusell). Midnight. the middle of a four-hour shift. Dave Sweet and I are taking half-hour turns on the yellow, I have just handed over to Dave, I am busting for a p** (at my age it gets you that way) so I say to Dave, "Its all quiet, I'll be a couple of minutes".

When I return, Dave is frantically waving the yellow board plus the yellow flag, in the middle of the concrete part of the Karusell is a very battered SEAT which had rolled following a wheel loss. Luckily Don and Roger on the next post had also heard the crash and provided cover. The driver had extracted himself and made his own way to the bank.

Next time I will take a bucket with me!

[rumblefish]

How about Race Control at OP, during final lap of qualifying or race:
"No recoveries, Rescue 1/2, Fire 1/2 hold position for a quick turn round."

Cue mayhem!

[Paul Newns]

One sadly no longer with us radio controller to recovery vehicle driver Walter Jones, "Can you do a straight tow at Hilltop, please". Only problem was, we were at Anglesey at the time!

[CombeMarshal]

"Don't worry, this is always a quiet post!"

And

"It looks like were going to get a lunch break today!"

[CombeMarshal]

And I Missed, "I think it's safe to take off my waterproofs now!"

[Stoowert]

At a BRDC/BRSCC extravaganza a couple of years back, a chief at the morning meeting told us the GT's would have a rolling start. We all murmered and dispersed. It was only when I looked in the programme I found out - No GT's!
I can't say who the balding chief was, but William the first was one!

Plus I only have think "I think I'll watch the Palace today" and they go a goal down!

[ascarracinguk]

at my first meeting..my io said if the car looks as though its been to a dodgy pannel beater...thats cos it has, always look out for teh dented ones, theyre most likely to crash!...sound advise

[Hepatic]

"Odd, that pork pie i had 10 mins earlier hasn't worked....." - famous last words before the time-released pig 'n' pastry product does it's worst.

[gravel_monkey]

i know exactly which marsall it was who couldnt write his own name because he was to cold as i was stood next to him and ken on knickerbrook but i will let him grass himself up!!!

i remeber at druids on fpa day saying to our io,
"god, i could have a sleep, its like a set of parade laps this!"

10 seconds later we were all running for cover as the f355 crashed through the barriers!

[flagwaver]

I once picked up the rescue units PA mike instead of the radio mike and Promptly told all the speccies near by that we had got the driver out of his car.

[Pete Howarth]

I remember the I.O. at last years GP saying I'm bored could do with something to happen, followed by the bang of a F3000 in the barrier, the next time the comment was made a Porsche into the barrier

[danccooke]

"A Bit of gaffer tape and some T-cut and it will be good as new" said jovially if but a little too loudly, the driver/student/foetus of the recently modified formula BMW stood next to us had lost his sense of humour at that point.

On another note my cousin doesn't need to say anything but he is not allowed to touch the yellow flag, ever. he is the prince of darkness better than any "pig in pastry" or other crash talisman.

[Woolley]

Said to the driver of a Morgan who was concerned that it would be difficult to retrieve from it's position, which was standing on it's nose at the bottom of the valley.

"No worries, bit of rooting powder we could get a good tree going there."

Some people just can't take a joke...

[CombeMarshal]

A month or so ago I was walking round the Padock (We had a lunch break for once!) When I came upon Tony Dolley's 206, I comented on how clean and intact it was, A hundred yards into the start of the race he only goes and rolls it right infront of me.
I won't coment on conditions of cars again!