ANNOUNCING: The 10 Tenths Fantasy F1 League 2001

[Craig]

We are delighted to announce the 10 Tenths Fantasy F1 League 2001. Please take a few minutes to visit and enter your team. What have you got to lose ? It's free! And a suitable prize will be on offer to the winner come seasons end...

http://tentenths.com/ff1/

[R]

The number which appeared when I pressed the "random" button outside the "tie-breaker" column when I registered, I can only assume will decide the order if two or more participants are equal on points. But what is a "good" score here? I couldn't find anything about it in the rules. In the event of a tie, will it be the highest number or the lowest number which will win?

[Dino IV]

I just couldn't make up my mind and entered half the field in four teams
Well that's my nick right? Dino Four
C'est tres drole pour un clochard to play around with all that cash, I just couldn't resist.

[EERO]

Valhalla Team EERO is pleased to announce that it will be undertaking the 2001 Formula One World Championship. We are not satisfied with our finish of Third in the Championship last season. We expect to finish better than First!
We are thrilled that Herr Schumacher has chosen to defend his title with us. We regret that Herr De La Rosa is no longer available, but we are confident that Herr Panis will enjoy a brilliant season.

NOTHING LESS THAN TOTAL VICTORY WILL BE TOLERATED!

We welcome our opponents to the field of battle where we shall CRUSH them.


-Oden
Valhalla Team EERO Team Manager

Unfortunately, Oden may be the King of the Gods, but he cannot spell.
[Edited by EERO on 19th February 2001]

[Liz]

*********PRESS RELEASE***********8

Since the members of Rydell Racing are still hiding out in an undisclosed location that has no extradition treaty with Canada:

KNOW ALL RACERS BY THESE PRESENTS:

That YOU BET YOUR BIPPY RACING announces its readiness to rumble in 2001 - The Real New Century

Messrs. Jean Alesi and Jarno Trulli have agreed to pilot the Prost Ferrari for this season (and we are using THIS YEAR's Ferrari engine, plesae note - we can afford it because our pilots and our cars are so cheap) and will be zipping round the piste in Michelin boots.

Msr. Alesi has lost nearly a stone over the winter and has taken up 'sports' for fitness, which consists mainly of chasing Sr. Trulli at speed, to remind his nemesis why he'd better not think of turfing his new and senior teammate this year.

We are tanned, we are fit, we have extra groovy sunglasses, and we are ready to rumble!

Allez l'equipe!

Dan Rowan and Dick Martin
Co-Press Officers
You Bet Your Bippy Racing

"I can't bet my bippy - I need it in my work!"

[EERO]

...here come da judge, here come da judge, here come da judge...

[Liz]

"Sock it to ME?????"

[RIKB]

Rikblak Racing are pleased to confirm their entry into this years F1 series.

The highly rated Olivier Panis will be partnered by the revelation of 2000, Jenson Button. Driving our Williams Honda cars. We are also pleased to announce our tie up with Bridgestone tyres.

Rikblak Racing along with our commercial partners look forward to a highly successful seasons Racing.

[marcus]

KARMA RACING have announced they will not be participating in this years Formula one World championship.

press manager Lois Lane has stated that "The team basically couldnt be bothered with F1 ..we are concentrating on our Champcar commitments ...but as yet havent tested our new cars for that series..We are upset that Giancarlo minardi did not accept our $500 million dollar offer for his expresso maker..but was interested in our bid of $1 million for his actual team....We wanted the whole team or nothing...so we will not be entering this years championship"

http://www.karmaracing.homestead.com

[TimD]

Seen in covert testing on the runway at Brooklands Motor Course yesterday was the secret new car prepared by Scuderia Criceto Rampante, the latest team to enter the elite 10-tenths Fantasy Formula 1 league.

Team principal, Lieutenant Commander Aloysius Lipsbury-Pinffold, (DSO, MBE and 24 hour towing) was seen in keen conversation with the team's new signing, number one driver David Coulthard. Early tests reveal that the revolutionary new aerodynamic device, developed in secret partnership with Coulthard, and referred to covertly as the "Cockpit-Mounted Cube" works perfectly, and complements the aerodynamics of the customer Jordan.

Number two driver Giancarlo Fisichella was not at the test day. He is currently away on what is described as a high-intensity fitness regime in the lobby bar of the Hotel Magnifique, Avenue des Anglais, Nice, on the French Riviera.

Reports that the ingenious trawl netting fitted to the rear diffuser of the Jordan are to catch the bits of the Cosworth engine were met with what can only be described as hard stares and twitching by the technical team. Chief Mechanic Arnold "Fingers" Todelottovya was apparently keen for us to sample what he described as a "knuckle sandwich", but at this point we felt it prudent to rush back to Heseltine Towers, Waldegrave Road and produce our report.

[Toth]

HEAR HEAR

The first Flying V's Formula 1 racing team press release.


The Nifty Nostrils F1 racing team is proud to present it's end. The Flying V's have taken over. Schumi sr. is fired, the guy is getting old and he's way to expensive anyway.
Jos The Boss has taken his rightfull position as driver no.1.

Jos:"Thank you."

Your welcome. Our driver team is further strengthened by Fisi. No comment neccesary, we all know he kicks ass.

We will be going round the track much quicker than anybody else because we have American cars (that would be BAR) with Italian engines (real Ferrari's). Hahah

No pitbabe team has been assigned yet, but Fisi and the mastermind behind our team (a millionaire, filantropist and pretty boy that is to remain unknown) are working hard and hold auditions on a daily basis.

We are very pleased to announce that Gibson will be our main sponsor for this season. They have given everyone V's and let us play loud music during luchbreak!!

Test's and further info on that will probably follow soon.

Thank you for your attention,

Alexi Laiho, press officer for now.


promotional photograph:

[Gerard]

Tulip Racing, last year's Fantasy Formula One Competition runner-up, has been divided into two divisions.
We've already entered Champ Cars with Tulip Champ Car Racing and now we're proud to announce the Formula One line-up for Tulip Formula One Racing.

For 2001 we decided to contract the perfect mix, an experienced driver and a rookie.
Driver number 1 is Juan-Pablo Montoya who will take Formula One by surprise.
Driver number 2 is good old Jean Alesi, a man with huge experience and a dazzling style, flamboyance, flair and vigorous spirit.

Chassis-wise we'll stick with McLaren but this season fitted with a Ferrari engine.
Bridgestone will supply the tyres.

Message to all other participants:
Be afraid, very afraid!

Press Officer,
Maurice 'Doodaa' Dance.

[SL]

*** PRESS RELEASE ***

Last Minute Racing confirm their entry in the F1 Championship.

The whole team, F1, CART & Le Mans squad are currently testing at an undisclosed Tesco carpark in deep rural Sussex.

LMR

[LYM]

Why no drivers valued at one million? Super LYM Series has half a million to spare.

[Liz]

Half a Mil only? Our outfit is so thrifty that we spent only 27 mil on our entire equipe - leaving about 13 mil for one heck of a beer blast and karioke party. Or repairs to the cars, which ever comes first. (Heck, beer always comes first!) Minardi could take lessons from us.

[R]

*** R Racing press release ***

The R Racing team is happy to announce its Formula One challenge for the 2001 season.

We're overjoyed to have signed Canadian World Champion Jacques Villeneuve and Colombian CART Champion Juan Pablo Montoya to race for the team this season, the inaugural season of the R Racing team. The team will run with BAR chassis, Honda engine and Bridgestone tyres. The president of R Racing, mr. R, said: "We are extremely happy to have signed Jacques and Juan Pablo. They are both past and future champions, and they have a racer mentality. We're sure they will bring us success." The team underlines that the only team orders will be that the two drivers are not allowed to pass each other on the track, but as mr. R said: "That team order won't be too difficult to maintain, since we're talking F1. The driver who is fastest at any given circuit will be allowed to stay ahead."

The R Racing team has also revealed that they have spent the entire budget of 40 mil on drivers, chassis, engine and tyres. Mr. R said: "That means we're as strong as anyone out there. And since we don't have Eddie Irvine on board, I don't see it as a problem."

Testing and preparations for the season are now fully underway, and the team is eagerly awaiting the start of the new season with anticipation and excitement.

R Racing - "We R Racing - R U ?!?"

[bella]

stella international racing

bella is pleased to announce stella international racing will be entering f1 this year. it's williams all round as current wonderboy montoya is joined by wideboy in training fisi in the williams bmw speedmachine.
driver and team are meeting as we speak to decide whether to share a hq with team dangerous. tea lady doris has signed up on a 3 year deal with stella international racing, and was last seen showing the drivers how o make a pukkha cup of tea.
the remaining 1 million will be used for shopping. we need a good uniform.

[robert2000]

** Fated To Lose Racing Official Press Release **

Fated To Lose Racing wish to confirm their entry into Formula 1 this year. Having signed this year's hard charger Jenson Button alongside the fiery Italian Giancarlo Fisichella, this is a package to be reckoned with. Rumours of an allegiance with Benetton are unfounded, despite the Renault/Playlife engine of the team.

Nigel Mansell was widely tipped to get the drive but instead confirmed that he would be racing lawnmowers in 2001. His only comment was, "My golf course always needed a bit of a trim..."

[Murph]

FOR IMMEDIATE PRESS RELEASE

Project 34 is pleased to announce their 2001 Fantasy Formula One Competition challenger. We would like to first thank our sponsors for the upcoming season....VIAGRA, DEPENDS, POLIDENT, BON APPETIT MAGAZINE, and MILK of MAGNESIA. We are very confident that their decision to align their fine product line with our marque will prove beneficial for all concerned. We would also like to take this opportunity to thank DUREX for their kind offer of free rubber for the 2001 PROJECT 34 challenger but after experiencing problems with their rubber at our last test session at Laguna Seca we have decided to instead go with Michelin in 2001.

Driver Line Up: Jean Alesi
Jarno Trulli

Chassis: Ferrari
Engine: Williams-BMW

Official Web Site: http://www.wheez/drool/cackle.com

[Marshal]

Twinkle F1 enter the title fight.

Twinkle F1 Drivers Ralf Scumacher and Jean Alesi are eagerly awaiting the start of the GP season after signing to driver the teams McLaren Ferrari (2000) cars, on Michelin tyres.

[Toth]

I've spent only 39 million, could Craig or someone else send my remaining million to my swiss bank accoun please?

[Jay]

----------Press Release---------------

After much number crunching Team Crunch has decided to go with veteran jackass Michael Schumacher and the bargain Olivier Panis.

Although the team owner, Jamie said that he was not happy with either drivers, they looked to be the best for the money.

The Chassis will be supplied by Jordan and Prost, because after paying for Schumacher there was little left.

Bridgestones were chosen, over the unproven Michelins.

The team will no be satisfied with anything less than victory.

[Neil C]

Last week SNAFU Racing Team submitted what will no doubt be the winning entry in the fantasyf1 2001 season.

However, their website is unable to tell me what we signed up for.

Do we need to sign up separately for the 10/10 version, or does our entry cross over? If we enter the 10/10 sweepstakes, does our entry have to match the selections we made for SNAFU on their website?

"We have nowhere to go but up, we have nothing to lose but 40 million dollars"
--Bullwinkle Moose, Team Manager, Frostbite Falls, Minnesota

[Airhead]

"Muffy, hey Muffy, wake up"
"Hunter, quit with this ****, OK, I'm dreaming of Barbie Girl"
"Hey, hands above the sheets, there's another lot of mayhem coming our way"
"Look Hunter, I've just about got Mikey primed for the season and Pammy's got the car tuned"
"Not the Indycar ****, Moffat, the real deal, the whole nine yards, the Bernie bankroll experience. Yes..." eyes go misty from drugs and lack of sleep.."formula, I mean, Formula 1"

"I got it sorted Moffat, we enter one car, with Mikey driving...."
"Get real, I tried that years ago, Ron still doesn't talk to me"
"OK, OK, how about the German?"
"What!!!!!!!!!!! Shytemaker, everyone knows I hate that guy, sorry, those guys."
Whiping white powder from nostril hairs with tongue Hunter takes a deep breathe and..
"Look Moffat, we need to just spend 40 million, save on the women and booze, and where in ..."
"OK, how about Mazzacc, I can't spell his name..
alright, Villeneuve and Coulthard for drivers, I hear both of them are on the market women wise, a sure sign we can afford them, being desparate and all.."
"if not they will fit in with the rest of us sex bombs"

Hunter pick up the phone and let's conference with Honda and Eddie Jordan.....................

See ya at the finish line!

[Minardi fan]

GONK RACING INC. OFFICIAL ENTRY CONFIRMATION:

Drivers:
Heinz-Harald Frentzen
Kimi Raikkonen
Test Drivers:
Michaela Strachan
Ukyo Katayama
Fernando Alonso
Chassis:
Williams
Engine:
Ferrari
Race Director:
Big Thelma
Pit Babe:
Georgie Hill
Main Sponsors:
Kinder Surprise
Haribo

Prepare to be amazed... GONK RACING INC. WILL BE INEPT NO MORE!!!