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Old 24 Jun 2000, 11:15 (Ref:19140)   #1
Crash Test
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Crash Test should be qualifying in the top 5 on the gridCrash Test should be qualifying in the top 5 on the grid
This is stolen from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionC...0/drinking.htm

you'll agree that this is the way of the future..

Grand Prix Drinking Game
During a rather boring Hungarian Grand Prix not so recently, Robin and I decided to enliven things by watching out for the well used cliches of our favourite comedy duo: Murray Walker and Jonathan Palmer. Things went from bad to worse, and led to the creation of this drinking game... Now, after 18 months, I've finally managed to modify the rules to allow for the fact JP no longer commentates...

Requirements
A Grand Prix to watch(!).
Supply of drink - either alcoholic or not, depending on whether or not you want some excitement to occur during the event.
This list.
Some friends to drink with. Not strictly necessary, but advised.
General Rule:
Every time an n-stop routine/strategy is mentioned by anyone, including those in the room, you must take n swigs, double if it was you who mentioned it.

Take one swig if ...

A driver is called a "pay-driver"
take an extra swig if he is there instead of a 'talented' driver.
A shot from the on-board camera immediately breaks up on switching to it.
The gravel trap fails to stop a car.
Louise comments from the pits.
Action occurs during the commercial break.
Take two swigs if ...

A driver/chassis/engine is referred to as 'much-improved'.
take an extra swig if he/it then crashes/breaks down/blows up.
Somebody receives a 10s stop-go penalty.
Two cars collide, taking both out of race.
take an extra swig per extra car removed.
take an extra 3 swigs if a punch-up follows.
'Rip-offs' are mentioned.
An all-time lap record is broken.
A shot of an empty track is shown.
The gravel trap does stop a car.
A random Frank Williams shot is shown.
Someone ruminates on choice of tyre compound.
Murray says/mentions/does:
"Catching is one thing, passing is another."
"Thus far ..."
"Swarming all over the back of ..."
"Right under the gearbox of ..."
"A puff of smoke."
"I'm just guessing ..."
"You can see it [anything] visually."
"Get out [from the pits] in front of ..."
"Has a clear track in front of him."
"Put the hammer down."
"It [the race] has come alive."
"OFF!!!! / OUT!!!!"
"Achilles' heel."
"The late, great ..."
anything that stops in mid-sentence.
references to a car being 'sandwiched' between two others.
hypothetical World Championship positions, "if things stay as they are..."
references to there being "two races" going on.
"Listen to the engine noise."
Martin:
corrects Murray.
reminds us of how good he was when he drove with Schumacher at Benetton.
is ignored by someone during his wander down the grid.

Take three swigs if ...

A overtaking manoeuvre occurs on the track.
take an extra two swigs if it is actually shown by the producer.
take an extra two swigs if Murray doesn't spot it for 5 minutes.
Murray utters a pathetic profundity/Colemanball.
The safety car appears.
take an extra two swigs if was blatantly unnecessary.
take an extra three swigs if it spins.
Someone stops on the last lap.
take an extra three swigs if it was the leader.
The leader wins by more than a lap.
an extra 3 for each extra lap.

Finish your beverage if ...

Frank Williams smiles.
Damon Hill passes someone on the track.
An obscure reason cannot be found to play the British National Anthem.
Drain your entire liquor supply if ...

Everyone retires.
A driver doesn't spray his champagne over the crowd.
If you want to carry on drinking, then why not step on over to The Ultimate Drinking Game Home Page. Not that I'm being bribed by a beer company, or anything...

© Richard Walters & Robin Stevens.
Most recent revision 30th June 1998.



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Old 24 Jun 2000, 21:41 (Ref:19237)   #2
Liz
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Liz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the gridLiz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Here are a few extras:

One swig if:

Murray says that Cranky Mika is being "held up".
Anyone says "[pilote who is ahead] should move over and let [McLaren/Ferrari pilote] make a race of it"
Frenzy crashes ten laps or fewer from the end, having been in podium finishing position til then.
More than six camera shots of Erja.
Any camera shot of Heidi.

Two swigs if:

Erja actually seems to be watching the race.
Heidi seems to know where she is.
Murray refers to any car other than Ferrari as a Ferrari.
Johnny Herbert makes it halfway through the race.
Louise Goodman leaves the Jaguar pits.

Three swigs if:

Cranky Mika advances more than one position through any means other than people crashing in front of him.
Zonta does not crash.
Johnny Herbert does not blow up.
Louise Goodman interviews Jacques.

Drain your entire liquor cabinet if:

Ron Dennis does not whinge.
TGF admits to a driver error - go out and buy another supply and drain that too if Ferrari admits to a driver error.
Nobody says "Jenson Button" more than five times in any ten minute time span.
Erja does not attend the race.
Louise Goodman interviews Heidi.
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Old 24 Jun 2000, 23:23 (Ref:19259)   #3
Minardi fan
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Llamaville, Kent
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Minardi fan should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid

Try these too!

One swig if...:

A Prost blows up
Diniz spins off
James Allen mentions 'tyres'
Mazzacane qualifies last
Both Jordans retire
Barrichello gets a podium because everyone ahead of him blows up/spins off
Gene makes up places at the start
Murray screams 'YEEEEEES!' when Mika Hakkinen retires

Two swigs if...:

Verstappen overtakes more than 2 cars
Wurz retires
Jim and Tony mention Button 4 times
Murray confuses the Jordans and Minardis (5 swigs if he comments on their paint schemes needing to be more different)
Murray says the Minardi is 'an excellent motor car'

Three swigs if...:

Someone spins off under the safety car
Jim and Tony mention Button 8 times
Trulli sounds remotely intelligent during an interview
They interview a Minardi driver
Both Jaguars finish
Both Minardis finish

Drink the entire liquor cabinet if...:

Jaguar actually make an impression at any point
You can understand what Mika says in the post-race conference
A streaker runs on the track (Georgie Hill gets you a bonus 5 swigs)
Ron Dennis looks remotely pleased on the podium
Martin starts from the back end for his grid walkabout

Go down to the nearest offy, break in and make off with the lot if...:

Minardi score a point

Cheers everyone!

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