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25 Sep 2000, 21:50 (Ref:39281) | #1 | ||
Ten-Tenths Hall of Fame
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Join Date: Nov 1999
Posts: 3,797
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I found a picture of a Mk4 Ford Zodiac tonight, and it whizzed me back to my student days, when I was the proud owner of such a car.
I'll make no bones about it. It looked great. A long, sweeping bonnet, the four blazing headlamps, the rather tasteful paintjob of maroon top and silver-grey flanks. Pity it was such a dog. Without doubt, it was the most evil handling, badly thought out, irresponsibly designed heap I ever had the privilege of driving. The imposing front end styling created a vast bow-wave of air at motorway speeds, giving very real front-end LIFT. This meant that if you wanted to steer, it would do so. Eventually. A little like turning the rudder on a boat. The cabin and the engine bay were approximately of equal length. The luggage area was a tiny little lid at the back. The gearchange was by a lever mounted on the steering column behind the wheel. A little mechanical pointer told you which gear you were in - except it used to select a gear to tell you about at random. Anything good about it? Well, with the bench for a front seat, it would accomodate seven students all told, which made me very popular for road trips. And the more people I had on board, the more predictable the handling. On the other hand, there was the one occasion I applied the handbrake at a junction, forgot to release it when I set off, and the car didn't even notice! It just drove happily on, seven up, until the next junction, when I went to put the handbrake on and.... Not very sturdy, them old Ford handbrakes. For the benefit of those born long after the Zodiacs all went to the breakers yard (lucky people) and those in nations other than Britain, who had far more sense than to import such a machine... ... A Ford Zodiac Mk4. So go on, spill the beans, what was your worst car? And I don't mind if it is a badly designed monster of a car, or a sound one that you bought when it was a down at heel old jalopy. Who is going to be the first to admit to buying two cars welded together....? |
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25 Sep 2000, 21:56 (Ref:39283) | #2 | |
Racer
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 167
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I've only ever owned one car - though i'm thinking of changing it right now
However I always remember my parents used to have a Maxi, my uncle a Princess, and my grandad a Morris Oxford - each and every one was a total shambles and they were forever breaking down - at least until they rusted away. So, I guess, the easy answer to your question is.... anything British... including the Sherpa Van, I can assure you! |
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25 Sep 2000, 22:01 (Ref:39285) | #3 | ||
Ten-Tenths Hall of Fame
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Join Date: Nov 1999
Posts: 3,797
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Ah - the Leyland Sherpa van. Now we're talking real hardcore grot here.
A coke can is more solidly built. Remember the old James Bond film, where the villain "Jaws" tears a Sherpa to pieces with his bare hands? Well, I've driven a '77 Sherpa (not mine, I hasten to add) and I'm convinced that you don't need to be 6ft7 with cast-iron teeth to do serious damage to a Sherpa. Woody Allen would probably do equally good a job. |
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26 Sep 2000, 01:21 (Ref:39313) | #4 | ||
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Join Date: Feb 1999
Posts: 12,451
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I guess the worst I had was a 1967 Ford LTD. In later years when I heard Gilles refer to his Ferrari as a "hopelessly fast red Cadillac" I would think of that old Ford of mine. It would go like a bat when it went, but it had squashy springs and no handling, and sometimes for no reason it would refuse to go into any gear but first, usually when it was parallel parked. It was the size of an RV and got about 10 MPG. One day it backfired into the carburetor and burnt to a cinder. After that I got a Pontiac.
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26 Sep 2000, 01:24 (Ref:39315) | #5 | ||
Ten-Tenths Hall of Fame
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Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 5,306
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I had a "Le Car" (a Renault 5 to you European types). Some enlightened cosmopolitan at American Motors gave them that name in the States in order to make them seem glamorous.
I've opened cat food cans that had more metal in them. I could hit 90 MPH downhill, but the thing hopped so all over the road that I rarely had any repeat passengers. The only plus side was that I never went without a parking space. |
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19 Apr 2005, 22:46 (Ref:1282574) | #6 | ||
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 601
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just dug this out from a link.
I had a renault 5 Campus. less metal than usual with a 1400 lump dropped in. Good for 113 but balls of steel to slow down again as the front was virtually off the ground. Met its demise under a petrol tanker on the top of Shap. It genuinely handled absolutely spot on in the forests of South Wales. better than any tarmac handing it pretended to have |
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I love the deadlines. Especially the sound of them screaming by... |
27 Apr 2005, 23:57 (Ref:1289033) | #7 | ||
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,750
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austin allegro
need i say more? |
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I want a hat with "I only wanted one comb" written on it. |
28 Apr 2005, 02:52 (Ref:1289089) | #8 | ||
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 693
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How spoiled have I been that the worst car I ever owned was an 87 BMW 325e. Of course I didn't own a car until I was 23. On a related note the best car I've owned (so far, hoping to change that this weekend) was an 87 BMW 325i.
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When asked facetiously if he knew he’d ruined a good story line by beating Patrick, Wheldon responded bluntly, “Don’t care one bit.” |
28 Apr 2005, 14:31 (Ref:1289449) | #9 | ||
Racer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 239
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I am tempted to say my current car, a 1.6 8v Vauxhall Astra mk4 (99), so many electrical problems its a bit unreal, and very very underpowered. But fuel consumption and insurance is easily more favourible than any other car i have had, if only the electrics wern't completly useless.
But, the worst car i have owned is a Renault 19 1.4 tr, this was trully a bag of nails, not a nice car to drive, just a bad car that i regretted buying right from the off. I only kept it for just over four months though. |
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28 Apr 2005, 17:35 (Ref:1289574) | #10 | ||
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 963
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I've only owned one car so I can't really say but there was one absolutely dreadful car in the family. About 17 years ago my mom bought a "slightly used" fiat 147.
First day driving it and it starts to act strangely. Goes to the garage and Surprise! The gearbox was grinding its way to death. Changed it for a new one. A couple of weeks later it overheats and the engine is damaged. Wngine repaired. A couple of weeks later the clutch goes. Then the engine fails (again). All these serious problems meant that you didn't worry that much about the excesive rust and the usual electrical problems. So, my mom ended up selling it (almost for free) a couple of months after she bought it. Hope it's rotting in "car-hell" |
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In the long run, we're all dead. Keynes |
7 May 2005, 15:20 (Ref:1295133) | #11 | ||
Racer
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 137
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1959 Hillman Husky in a fetching two tone beige and white.
It had all the dynamics of a horse drawn gypsy caravan and nearly as much body roll as a 2CV with virtually no grip. Turning the headlights off was fraught as you usually ended up switching off the ignition. We put in a Singer Gazelle gearbox with Laycock overdrive. Unfortunately it was so gutless you could only leave it in o/d fourth for about half a mile before it ran out of steam. I got rid of it quickly replacing it with a 1963 Cortina 1200 Deluxe. I never owned a Rootes/Chrysler/Talbot product again despite working for one of their Dealers and living only two miles from Ryton plant. |
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